Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)
Day 47, and so fucking sick. I've had a fever of 102 from my shingles. They have spread to my back and stomach. They are dried up though. All the blisters have popped on their own. I don't touch them unless it's to rub cream on them, coconut oil, or lidocaine. I then wash my hands really well. I itch all over. Nothing helps the itching but hydroxizine which I am now out of. I'm not sleeping at all either.
To make matters worse I started my period too and my cramps and back pains are awful. I feel like I got hit by a garbage truck. Plus the anti-virals the doctor gave me for my shingles are giving me awful diarrhea and I'm throwing up my food. I'm having a terrible time with 3200mg so I cut it down by half. i can't handle this much medicine. I only weigh 114 pounds and I'm 5'6". I should weigh 130. I used to weigh that much from all the muscle I had. I can't eat right now. Just drink water.
I feel so horrible though. I took some xanax here a little bit ago and one hydrocodone for my menstrual cramps and back ache plus ibuprofen which is helping immensely. I'm about to go back to bed since i was up all night at the hospital fighting my fever. I also got blood work done and I have low platelets and super low cholesterol the doctor said and anemia. So, my body is all fucked up. It's terrible.
I'm trying to eat healthier and take better care of myself but the anti-virals are making me too sick to eat and whatnot. It's a mess. My body is truly detoxing from all the hell I put it through the last three years. Everything all at once too. It's not fun. Sorry for complaining but this is a difficult time.
My guy that I'm talking to is coming to spend the weekend with me. I want to be better before he gets here. So, I'm going to go to bed here in a bit. I was up all night last night. I ended up having to take an oxycodone 60mg for my pain. It worked and helped me sleep for about four hours.
Right now I need rest so bad. I can't go into work because my boss has a very weak immune system and I can't risk getting her sick even though theoretically she wouldn't be touching my shingles. They are all scabbed over now so they are not contagious. The fluid filled blisters that were so painful are all gone now. It looks nasty though and it spread to my stomach and back. I just hope it doesn't scar. I am not picking at it or doing anything to jeopardize my recovery from them.
Other than all this drama, I'm doing good. I have had crazy heroin dreams and desires but I just keep saying no. I don't want it in my life. I'm trying to limit the amount of drugs I'm taking right now and just take exactly what's necessary for my chronic pain and my shingles. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I get clean and I get punished with strep throat, the flu and now the shingles. It's insane. doing the right thing and getting fucked at the same time.
A question for the ladies… any of you take birth control? Typically my body responds awfully to birth control. I don't want to gain weight but I want lighter, less painful periods. Any suggestions would be most welcomed. Sorry, to the guys that are reading this. I know you don't want to talk about women's menstrual cycles but this is just part of my body returning back to homeostasis. So far, got a long ways to go. But, damn it if I'm not doing my best to overcome all this shit.
Hope everyone is ok. I will check on your threads when I start to feel better. I'm too sick right now. Now, off to strip down into underclothes and go back to bed. I've had virtually no sleep. Thanks all that listen to my sad stories. I will get better and then my posts will be more positive. But, no matter what sobriety is all that matters and I'm heroin free despite all that's happening. Somehow I'm making it. It's your support along with my friends from the Army and the new guy I'm dating. All of these people combined keep me going and I can't thank you all enough! Love to you all.
I really need some support, please help me - Part 181