Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)
Day 60… TWO MONTHS WOO HOO!
Well today has been a total nightmare. I can't get into the specifics but some major shit happened to me involving the IRS and them freezing my bank accounts. I'm working on getting this matter resolved. The IRS made a mistake and I have to prove to them that they made the error. Luckily I work at HR block so I can get a tax professional to review my taxes from the prior years for free. I have two weeks to get this straightened out or the iRS will freeze my bank accounts for 12 weeks. I had some other stuff happen to that caused me a major anxiety attack.
This attack was so bad I was having chest pains and went into the hospital. They saw me right away and to shorten the story they concluded that I have a mitral valve prolapse and I need to see a cardiologist asap. They weren't sure as to whether or not this will require surgery but I am now on medication and the doctor told me I must keep my stress levels down because I am at risk for a heart attack. The blood is basically backing up into my heart and it's not good. I may need surgery. This is hereditary and there is a lot of heart disease in my family. My dad, my uncle, my grandma on both sides of my family all had heart attacks and one had a mitral valve prolapse. This may be able to be managed with medication but they don't know yet. I have to see more doctors. The shit just keeps getting worse. I am so fucking stressed out right now. I have to get this under control cause of my risk for having a heart attack. My Dad just had one in 2014. There's more to the story but that's just an overview.
I am financially stressed and my PTSD is adding to it all. I am looking for a psychiatrist to treat me away from the VA. I am looking for doctors right now. i have to get back on medication. I can't do this all myself, it's going to kill me literally. I'm not receiving much support from my family either. My Mom acted as if I am burdening her and told me to stop acting like a child. My Dad just said good luck.
My guy is trying to help me out right now.
I am not doing very well at all though. First it was strep throat, then the flu, then the shingles now heart problems. I don't know what I'm going to do. We'll see. I will update when I can. This is just a summary of it all. It just never ends. I'm behind on all my bills, not making enough money at my current job to support myself either. My recruiters are still looking to try and find me a good paying job but my DUI is causing a lot of doors to close. I feel like I'm going to collapse. I didn't hardly sleep at all and I can't eat cause of my anxiety. It's bad. I'm looking for a civilian doc that specializes in PTSD and anxiety. I will find someone soon. I have to go to work today so I won't be able to resolve this until tomorrow. I have so much to do.
Things just keep getting worse and more intense and my health is at stake right now. I am at risk for heart attack if I don't get my stress under control. Plus, I still have to figure out a solution to my herniated disc and chronic pain that causes me stress as well. Things are pretty bad right now and i can use all the support that you all have to give. I feel like quitting, packing up my stuff and running away but I can't. Got to stand up and face the music.
Anyways, I will update more when I can. I'm supposed to see another cardiologist soon. They are trying to get me in asap. But, I want to see civilian docs and that costs money that I don't have. So, I'm stuck right now.
Anyways, I have to get ready for work. I will talk later. Thanks for the kind messages to those that have posted on my thread. Jungledog if you get a chance to read this please let me know what you think about my mitral valve prolapse. I am on propanolol for right now. I was diagnosed with this in 2008-2009 but then the docs said everything was fine when I returned home from Iraq. Apparently, they made a mistake. Because I do in fact have it. I am only 33. I don't know what to do. I need help though. Major help.
I really need some support, please help me - Part 193