Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)
Sorry for being so harsh in regards to your post. I shouldn't have said what I said. I'm under a lot of stress and wasn't being professional and respectful. I apologize to you and any other member I've offended. It won't happen again. I sent you a DM.
marathonmel7 added 189 Minutes and 6 Seconds later...
Spent 12 hours in the hospital today getting my procedure done. I was supposed to stay overnight but couldn't cause of my dog and him having no one to take care of him. I left against medical advice but explained my situation. I also have to work tomorrow and need the money.
Long and short of it is I have endocarditis and a faulty mitral valve. The doc will call me and let me know if I need surgery. The cardiologist wasn't in long. He said he needed to consult with other cardiologists on my condition.
I am on antibiotics and propanolol for my issues right now. I will be seeing a psychiatrist soon to start treating my ptsd again. I don't know what the course of action will be. I also have a bad rash too. I was told that the endocarditis is at fault for the rash. Not sure how long I've had endocarditis, it could have been months and that could be the reason for my other illnesses I've suffered over this past 6 weeks. Heroin usage causes endocarditis as well as faulty valves or so I was told. If I have to have surgery I will transfer my care to where my guy lives and he will take care of me and my dog. That's the plan anyways.
I feel bad about being such an asshole on this thread recently. I take full responsibility for my behavior and actions and being a titanium member I should know better. So again, I apologize to those I offended. i won't make the same mistakes again especially when people are just trying to show their support.
I think I'm going to take a break from this thread. Haven't decided yet. I feel like I've let some people down and that makes me feel bad especially since you all have got me sober and kept me sober. I don't want people afraid to post here. I am the first person to admit when I am wrong and i was wrong. Won't happen again. I let my personal issues influence my behavior.
I am quite down today. I got bad news today and had a bad day ALONE at the hospital. I was supposed to stay overnight but couldn't so left against medical advice. I know those will scrutinize me for it but I had to do what I had to do. My dog needs to be cared for and my guy couldn't take him today or be there with me because of his work schedule. So it is what it is.
My Mom sent me a really mean message today and hurt me greatly. My dad didn't even call me to check on me. I feel like I have no one. My friends are all out of state, best friend deploying, etc. They don't and shouldn't have to deal with my shit as they have enough on their plates.
So, anyone can DM me if they'd like but I think for now I will take a break from this thread. Or maybe tomorrow when I've had more rest I will change my mind. I don't know. But I want this thread to be positive and inspiring and I feel like I've failed at that. So, we will see.
To all those trying to get clean, you can do it. There's a lot of support here. People deserve good things here. Mods work hard and they don't deserve drama.
Thanks to all that are here and that stay committed to helping me. Again, I apologize for acting like a jerk and being immature.
I really need some support, please help me - Part 200