I really need some support, please help me - Part 204

By marathonmel7 · Feb 27, 2015 · ·
  1. Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    Day 83…

    Well to answer your questions i am already on disability from the Army. I cannot get anymore. I am 70% disabled and if I go any higher I won't be able to work and I can't live the rest of my life not working unless I were to live with family or something. I don't really want that. i want to be a productive member of society. I am too young to sit at home for the rest of my life.

    I have another job interview today. I am hoping it goes well. I got some sleep last night so i feel more prepared than I did for the one earlier this week when i had been up for two days with nothing.

    I now have pulmonary edema. The docs thought it was pneumonia at first but I have fluid on my lungs. It's as a result of the faulty valve. Shit just keeps getting higher and higher.

    I didn't get to hear from my guy last night and he's going through some crap right now too. His mom has been having awful migraines and they found a mass on her mri near her brain above the cervical vertebrae. He's supposed to find out what it is as of last night or today. His parents are in Spain though so there is a time difference. I guess he was probably talking to them last night and couldn't' call me. I am just really worried about him right now. Plus, his brother is in Afghanistan doing dangerous missions. He's got a lot on his plate. I am supposed to see him this weekend. I hope it works out. I really need to connect with him. I feel lonely and I feel like the distance is too much. I hope he hasn't lost interest in me and that he's just busy. I hope I am not a burden to him with my health too. I don't know.

    Anyways, I am depressed today. i just want something good to happen. I don't want to be ill anymore. I want all of this to go away.

    Thanks for your support everyone. I appreciate all of your feedback!

    marathonmel7 added 2 Minutes and 10 Seconds later...

    My anxiety is pretty bad this morning. I took some xanax and hope I will calm down. I'd like to go back to bed but I don't think that's happening. It seems as though I can't sleep anymore. I did actually go to bed early last night for a change instead of staying up all night. So, I guess 7 hours is it. But, I feel like i could sleep for days. I'd like to anyway. Going to keep fighting through. I hope I catch a break soon. Anything positive would be great right now. Anything...

Comments

  1. prescriptionperil
    Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    You're on day eighty four clean from IV heroin, which is MEGA positive. Despite being in a stressful situation recall this with pride.

    Man, now pulmonary edema. Hopefully one day you'll be able to look back upon these challenging days as a bad dream.

    Wow, oral morphine helps your pain after being on heroin. Aften ten years of valid opiate therapy the opiate bowel syndrome was getting as painful as my widespread chronic pain.

    Best wishes.
To make a comment simply sign up and become a member!