I really need some support, please help me - Part 208

By marathonmel7 · Mar 2, 2015 · ·
  1. Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    I've already posted my reasons why I don't want to get on an anti-depressant. Plus I cannot afford to lose anymore weight and they all make me lose weight. I don't want to get on any psych meds. I am fine with all the drugs I'm currently on although I really want off the morphine. I may ask the doc to change that this week. I don't really like it and I feel like I'm cheating on my sobriety. It doesn't get me high or anything just keeps my pain in check. But whatever… I will do what the docs want.

    As far as the link you provided beach walk, I am not eligible cause I already have disability benefits from the department of the army. I can't get anymore. I don't know what i'm going to do yet. Today is the first and I'm supposed to have all my rent paid. I only have about seven days before i get evicted. We'll see. I have my 2200 dollar bike for sale. If i can sell that then I can pay my rent. It's just getting someone to buy it quickly without losing a profit. Sucks. Cause that bike means so much to me. I have all my jewelry for sale too. Just waiting on someone to buy it. I don't know. We'll see. I don't want to talk about it right now. I am calm and I need to remain calm.

    It's raining which is my favorite weather and i'm curled up with my dog. He means everything to me and makes me happy. As long as i have him I'm ok for right now.

    I went to my DUI class today. I guess I only have five more to do. But, I have to pay for them. I also have to start my drug classes. I go to court on the tenth of March. Hopefully, the judge will be happy with my progress although it's not much. I've done the best i can. I just want to stay out of jail and I will be happy.

    Anyways, that's all for today. I don't feel like talking much. I will update you guys later. Thank you all for your suggestions and support.

    And yes, I've tried contacting my guy and he hasn't got back to me which makes me think I am not important at all right now. I'm having troubles with this. I don't know if he's just so consumed with his family or if he's just not interested in me anymore. i don't know. I just want to know that he and his mom are ok. I don't' want to be selfish and upset him with my problems. I really care about him and thought this was going somewhere. Maybe it's not. i don't know. But i feel myself getting emotional right now so I'm going to stop. Later.

Comments

  1. Kitts
    Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    Aw Mel, I'm sorry you're having such a bad time at the moment. I really feel for you. You've been through so much. You're doing the right thing by trying to keep yourself calm. Whatever you can use to help you - I like those relaxing youtube videos, or The Lord of the Ring audiobooks that used to be on there helped me relax, also those apps that play relaxing sounds. Silly little things but, light a candle or two and it used to chill me out. Nothing better than doggy cuddles though.

    Hang on in there Mel. You're due some good breaks soon. X
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