I really need some support, please help me - Part 211

By marathonmel7 · Mar 2, 2015 · ·
  1. Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    Thank you very much Roaddog… I greatly appreciate it. I guess I have a broken heart literally and figuratively now… it's official haha. That's what I get for putting myself out there. I don't understand how someone can talk to me for hours and hours, drive almost two hours to see me and hang out with me on more than one occasion, just stop talking to me. I don't know what I did. I guess it's not me. I guess it's him. I just thought we had a really deep connection. I was poised for a relationship and he even said at 90 days we'd be official. I don't know. It is what it is though and I really can't talk about it too much because it will destroy me emotionally. There are others out there I just thought I had met my match finally after three years of being single and after having suffered the great loss I did with my ex and heroin. I don't know… sigh. It's not for me to decide though. I can't force a person to want to be with me or talk to me but I think it's decent human nature to want closure and I just want closure. I want to know that he and his family are ok and what I did to deserve this. But, hey I may not get that. I can't make a person pick up their smart phone and send a simple text or make a simple phone call. I've got to draw from the love all around me from my friends, family and the people on here. That's all I can do. Heartache sucks. It really does. Especially since I really disclosed to him a lot about myself, him more than anyone else in my entire life. He knows things I've never told a soul. I don't get it all, I really don't. But, I have to abandon this topic because I feel myself wanting to cry. If I could cry I would but I can't ever. Haven't really cried in years or not that i remember even during the most tragic of times. Oh well.

    Anyways, it's people like you that say the things they say that keep me going. So, thank you. Your message made my day. And if I can help others get and stay clean then I have done my job. And when I can I will donate even more to this site. I just can't right now.

    But, truly and deeply from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Comments

  1. Beenthere2Hippie
    Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    Remember, it is far better to learn about a perspective lover's faults before you have full-hardheartedly committed than it is to find out after you invested your full self. Mel, you're young and both spiritually and physically beautiful; and you have your whole life still in front of you. You and a special someone can still have an amazing future, so don't you dare give up on love--you hear me?

    One last point. Unless this gentleman (last time I will talk to him) did not call because (God forbid) his mom did pass away, or he himself was taken so ill that he could not pick up a phone, there is no excuse good enough for having left you hanging in such a way. You sure don't need someone in your life that's insensitive enough to have not recognized that you were waiting for his call. You-deserve better, as making a phone call or texting only takes seconds. I'm sorry he wasn't The One.

    But, on a positive note, that means Mr. Right is still out there--waiting for you. First, get better and then the rest will come. I just know it will. Hang tough, pretty lady, and things will improve on all fronts. Such is life.

    Hugs as always- :vibes:
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