I really need some support, please help me - Part 213

By marathonmel7 · Mar 4, 2015 · ·
  1. Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    Hey JD, thanks for the post. I hope you feel better and your health issues aren't severe like mine. I really hope you'll be ok but you're a health care professional so I know you will take good care of yourself and have the knowledge to get the right treatment for yourself. I support you though fully! Take care of you! You deserve to be happy and healthy and you've done amazing with your sobriety to congratulations there too!

    My roommate moved in today. I helped her get her stuff. She's very sweet and I believe this is a great option for us right now. It's nice having someone here to talk to and stuff. But, we both kind of have our own spaces so it's working out just fine. I am in my room and she has the living room and kitchen. She cooks and I don't so I told her that is now her domain haha.

    I'm still waiting to hear about the job. We'll see. I will remain positive. I am not going to lie though I am really sad about the way things have gone with the guy I was seeing. I don't know. It will work itself out though. I'm done in terms of communication. He can communicate with me if and when he wants after he sorts himself out. I am talking to some other guys for fun right now. I have one guy that would like to take me out since i have been ill. He just wants me to have a nice dinner with him so I explained to him that I'm not really ready to get into anything but I'd love to go out and socialize and get to know him. So, that will be fun. My heart is still with my guy though and I will not be opening myself up like I did with him with anyone else for a long time. Just having some fun right now and hopefully it will take my mind off my health issues and my love loss.

    Anyways, 3 more days and I'm at 90 days sober so another success! I am happy about that. Just got to keep moving forward. I am really tired and am going to take a nap now. I will update again later. Love to all -

    marathonmel7 added 188 Minutes and 28 Seconds later...

    Just as a conclusion to this all… I emailed the guy I was dating for two months and just said my peace. i also asked if he could provide me with some sort of closure in what I did wrong. I just need this. I need closure. I am really hurt. After this, I am done with it. I'm not going to think about it anymore nor will I be discussing it anymore on this thread. So, for my own sanity I sent the email. I may never hear back from him and that's ok. I just had to do it for my own purposes. I don't deserve this. I don't care what's going on in your life. I'd say I've gone through some major fucking shit, more than most and I was still able to be there for him and support him but he turned his back on me. So, i guess that's just what was meant to be. I will never know. I will be very surprised if I hear back from him. But, I did my part, more than my part. I am now DONE. Officially DONE with it all. I hope I can find someone who I connect with like I did with him again. I'm feeling as though love is just not in store for me. I thought I'd never get over my ex and when I met this guy I was completely taken by storm. I let things flow naturally and gave away my heart as the pace dictated. I don't understand and will never understand what has happened. I only wish for his health and success and his family's health and success. I am not a selfish person so even though I am hurt like hell I still wish him the best and well. But, I just thought I'd update everyone. I don't care to discuss this further. It's too painful. But, in the interest of this thread I just wanted to let everyone know the outcome. I got screwed, hurt and it sucks. But, life goes on right? I just have to keep moving forward. No one can take this hurt away. I am going to continue to try and date but I won't be giving my heart out like i did again. I feel bad for the next person because it's going to be like pulling nails to get anywhere with me. But, whatever. It just is what it is. I am now finished with my peace. I guess I will never truly know. It's like another death though. I lost a friend and a partner. It hurts and sucks and I feel like a fool.

    marathonmel7 added 928 Minutes and 47 Seconds later...

    Feeling heartbroken today… yep, that's pretty much all there is to say. Sad. People suck. Especially when you think you have a deep connection and find out that you're simply nothing.

Comments

  1. prescriptionperil
    Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    I believe time will heal both you physically and emotionally. Almost ninety days! Take pride in this major accomplishment. Go out just for fun.

    Glad the roomie seems a match.
  2. SoozyQ
    Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    Mel,

    What you have done is bloody amazing. Despite all the crap, you are keeping on. Three months:D. Congratulations:)

    So glad you have found a roommate. Sounds like a real win-win. Maybe even someone to care for your dog if you need a short hospital stay.

    Mel, your thread is inspirational, you are inspirational. Sending you heaps of love xxxxxxx
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