I really need some support, please help me - Part 74

By marathonmel7 · Aug 11, 2014 · ·
  1. Re: Heroin; I really need some support, please help me.

    Hey Jels… I am doing good. I was sober but I relapsed last night. I then realized I didn't want to be high so I threw it away. I don't know why I keep playing this game and wasting money. I am getting to the point where I don't like the feeling anymore. I don't like nodding offf in my apartment when I could be out working making some money. So, that's what I did today. I worked hard and now I feel good about myself again. I felt like a jerk last night for getting some H.

    I really like my new job and the freedom it brings. I can do my whole schedule on my own. I can work a lot or a little depending upon my mood. I don't know any job like that so I feel like I scored big on this one. After ten jobs I get a raise. I am already at three and tomorrow is two more and I will be halfway there to ten. I think I mentioned this before in a previous post but my Mom cleans houses for a living too. She has her own business and does quite well. She is a perfectionist and she taught me how to clean well. So far, my customers have been happy which is all I care about.

    Anyways, as usual thank you for your support. I am doing good. Just hanging in there and hoping for a new, better life.

    Just saw your post detoxin momma. That's really cool that you do this too. I am actually working with a company so I can't set my own prices but you're right, the money is good and I feel like I accomplished something at the end of each day. Your'e right with how taxing it is on the body. i went and bought a mop yesterday so I don't' have to clean floors on my hands and knees. My back won't take that. So, today's job was much easier because of the mop. I prefer to mop over vacuum. My Mom cleans the floors on her hands and knees and she's 61. I don't know how she does it. My back can't handle it. Oh and DM I read your post and I want to congratulate you on your pregnancy. I hope you're excited. I can imagine that it's a lot of work as I am not a mother. But, I bet you'll be a wonderful mother. In fact, I'm sure of it!

Comments

  1. SoozyQ
    Re: Heroin; I really need some support, please help me.

    Hey Mel,

    Congratulations on the new cleaning job. :applause:

    I also clean other people's houses (just can't get motivated to do my own;) ) Like the mechanics out there who drive crappy cars :D I think the attraction is it is good honest work. I am doing a lot less houses/hrs than you but that suits me for now.

    You are amazing Mel and your posts are so honest and real. You've come such a long way. Keep posting and letting us know how you are going.

    Cheers and love xxxxxxxxx
  2. la-di-da
    Re: Heroin; I really need some support, please help me.

    Hey Mel

    I just read through your recovery process and I have to say your determination to stop the gear is inspiring, keep it up and I'm sure you'll break through to your goal of a month clean if you really want to. Also congratulations on the new job, it sounds like an excellent gig for someone with social anxiety and definitely beats door-to-door sales, just be careful of your back OK (glad to read you got that mop!).

    I couldn't help noticing that your connect is there at the dial of a number, have you considered deleting your using contacts? For me, a lot of the pain from getting clean in the past lay with the fact that I was frequently fence sitting, uncomfortable with committing either to sobriety or using. I found that when I made that choice to get clean, for it eventuate in any long term way, I'd have to make practical moves to support that choice. For me that meant deleting all my numbers, not carrying much cash around and making choices that kept me out of situations I could get on easily.

    I could go on & on about what;s worked for me but I don't want to let all of my rabbits out the hat at once ;)

    Be gentle with yourself.
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