Re: Heroin; I really need some support, please help me.
Well I didn't think things in my life could get any worse but they just did. I lost my job last night. I've been too depressed to post although I've been reading a lot on the forums in need of support. I am at the lowest point of my life right now. I have nothing but two hundred dollars left to make it. I don't know what I'm going to do. Probably apply for another loan. I'm in serious debt anyways.
The only good news is I am on day three of my detox. I was totally clean but today I decided to take 4mg of suboxone around noon. It helped me immensely as I was in so much pain. I just took 2 more mgs this evening. Tomorrow I plan on just taking 2mgs and then after that, nothing. I don't know how well of a taper that is but I am going to get through this.
Heroin has taken everything from me. I am done. Losing my job was the final straw. I have nothing to live for except my dog. He's what's keeping me afloat. I know he depends on me so I have to try to make it out of this hole or a life. I can't believe how bad my life is right now.
I am two days away from going to court. I go Friday. Everyone I know says I'm not going to be sent to jail but I am expecting the worst so I can prepare myself. For the first time offense my dealer thinks I will get off easy or at most get probation. I'd be happy with probation. Anything but going to jail.
I am going to take a xanax here in a few hours and try to sleep and calm down. I am very upset right now so much that I can't even think to type this post. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow with my drug counselor and my psychiatrist and I don't feel like hearing their shit. I really don't want to go but I want the judge to see that I am in counseling. The courts can test me too because by Friday I will have a clean tox screen.
So, if anyone is out there I could use the support now more than ever. I don't know where my next dime is going to come from. I am looking for another job but it takes time. I don't know what to do right now. I can't even type anymore….
I really need some support, please help me - Part 91