I really need some support, please help me - Part 92

By marathonmel7 · Oct 9, 2014 · ·
  1. Re: Heroin; I really need some support, please help me.

    Thanks JenK for your post. It made me feels supported. Today is day 3 and I'm about 62 hours in. I am making it on 1mg of xanax and so far no suboxone today. I'm going to try not to use any suboxone today as yesterday I ended up using 6mgs which is way to high to taper. I was just feeling so bad that I took more than I intended on using. I have 2mgs of xanax left and 9mgs of suboxone left. I should be able to make it through the next few days on that. I feel ok, better now that I took he subs yesterday. I am still in a low, depressed mood and I'm looking frantically for a job but first I have to focus on my court date for tomorrow. That's the most important thing.

    None of my friends think I will get any jail time as I've said before but I'm planning for the worst so I can expect the worst. I don't know what's going to happen unfortunately. I am already in an outpatient rehab program so I don't see how they can send me to another rehab when I'm already attending one. We'll see though. The judge could be a dick or maybe a compassionate person. Either way I'm prepared for the worst.

    That's all to report right now. I'm focused on my sobriety and my court date and getting a job. Three major points in my life right now. DF has been so supportive of me and I thank everyone of you that have read my journal and commented. It means so much to me to know I have people that care. Thank you truly.

Comments

  1. Voltar
    Re: Heroin; I really need some support, please help me.

    So are they giving you the suboxone to manage the withdrawals? I have chronic pain issues and ended up addicted to H as well because I could not afford to go to the pain clinic without insurance. Then after trying H, I kept on doing it even after I was given fentanyl patches. I ended up having to move away from the city to a small town because it was ruining my life.

    The pain clinics here are only a fraction of the cost. For the cost of a gram of H I saw the doctor and left with a month's supply of methadone. For most addicts they do suboxone in pill or patch form but like I said I do have chronic pain.

    Access to the sub will help with the withdrawals but you will always crave the high. Maybe the counselor will help, but since you lost your job you can always do what I did and move somewhere you can't find it. Providing the judge goes easy on you.
  2. curiousonlooker
    Re: Heroin; I really need some support, please help me.

    Losing your job could be a blessing in disguise... it does give you the opportunity to move and start somewhere new, somewhere you don't have access to heroin. Just a thought, I guess it does come down to what the judge says, so I wish you the best of luck there. Just try to think of all the ways, that whatever the judge decrees, you can turn to your advantage by getting away from heroin.
  3. Serak The Preparer
    Re: Heroin; I really need some support, please help me.

    Morning marathonmel7.

    Sorry to hear that you lost your job. Maybe it can work out positively for you in this case, since your already partly detoxed. It's obviously easier to stay clean if you have no money. I think I stayed clean for the longest times whilst unemployed for that reason. I'm sure it can be the same for you too.

    You're a really good person, especially as you were helping out HEROINSUCKS at a difficult time for yourself. Hopefully this comes across in court and allied with your previous good character should ensure the most lenient sentence.

    Fingers crossed for you today anyway, look after yourself!!
  4. Katz13
    Re: I really need some support, please help me.

    Keep it up! I am reading your posts with admiration. I see a truly courages woman. Things will get better. I was a meth addict for far to long. Now I work with people that have a mental illness and a drug addiction. Who woulda thunk it??!! Im rooting for you. I wish I could take the pain for you. Just keep going.
  5. Booty love
    Re: Heroin; I really need some support, please help me.

    keep positive mel, no matter what life hands you. There sure are alot of people on here rooting for you, i know thats not the same as everyone by your side, thats where you need the support the most. I hope you have people you can count on in life, recovery takes quite a life change and thats so hard to do solo. I'm hoping a life change is in the works for you mel.
  6. Mick Mouse
    Re: Heroin; I really need some support, please help me.

    A couple of things here. First of all, guilt and shame are the two things that can cause every addict to relapse-so get rid of them. You are a person. People make mistakes. Don't wallow in the guilt, just admit you screwed the pooch, learn from the mistake, and move on. Mistakes are only bad when repeated. Hold your head up and tell yourself that you are trying, and that it is harder than you thought, but that you are trying.

    Now hold your head up and tell everyone else the same thing. If they feel the need to judge you, let them! That just proves the depth of their character. Then just walk away, because they really weren't your friends anyway. True friends are there for you when you need them, even if it is "inconvenient".

    Secondly, do not fall into the trap of trading one addiction for another. getting off heroin does you no good if you pick up methadone, xanax, or a sub habit. Subs are easier to come off of than methadone, in my opinion. Also, remember the nature of addiction. It never comes to you when you are strong. And withdrawal is never a one-shot thing, very few succeed on their very first try. It has been said that nicotene is more addictive and harder to kick than heroin, and the "average" person who trys to quit cigarettes does so an average of thirteen times before it finally sticks!

    Finally, how much is your life worth to you? Maybe a short-term stay in a controlled, drug-free environment such as a jail would be a good trade to get and stay clean and get your life back on track. I know, the idea sucks! But it works.
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