Re: Heroin; I really need some support, please help me.
I don't feel like I can emotionally get through this day. My mom is mad at me that I complained to her how depressed I was. I don't get why she's mad. She at least is at home with family while here I have nothing or no one. I feel so drained and unexcited. I can't find a job. My account balance is diminishing and shortly I will have no money until my check gets here. My shrink called me over and over today but I refused to answer. She wants to hospitalize me and put me in rehab. Fuck her. I have a job to do and can't just leave everything and camp out in rehab. Plus I don't need rehab. I am clean and will continue to be clean. Fuck her. I'm not calling her back either.
It's now almost five today and I've done nothing today but run and lay around. Not a life I want for forever. I have to wait until my check arrives before I can go to the DMV to get my vehicle squared away. Ugh… I feel like complete and utter shit. I don't even want to be high but I don't want to be me right now. I guess this is PAWS… I don't know. WHatever it is, it sucks. I don't want to deal with it. I need to feel stable in getting through all of this. Now, I don't feel good. I ate something and it feels like it's going to come back up. I don't know here… I just don't know.
marathonmel7 added 99 Minutes and 11 Seconds later...
Just found out a dear friend of mine wants to od on heroin. He wants to end his life. I feel like the same but you don't see me giving in. I don't know what to say to help him. I'm trying to be there for him but he's in northern california and i'm in socal. I can't physically be there to help him just via text. This is the topping to my cake right here. I don't know how much more I can take before I too, snap.
I really need some support, please help me - Part 97