I really need some support, please help me - Part 99

By marathonmel7 · Oct 16, 2014 · ·
  1. Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    I don't even know if I should post tonight but maybe it will make me feel better. I have hit a low depression. Nothing makes me smile. Today I went to the DMV to get my registration renewed and to get a california's drivers license instead of the texas one I have. So, all that went ok I guess.

    I'm feeling completely empty inside. I don't want to use but the cravings are there. I have no sober high like other's speak of. Music doesn't sound better. The sky and trees don't look any better. Everything looks the same. I feel horrible. I feel like I don't even want to live. I'm supposed to have a job interview tomorrow working at a job I don't want making pennies per hour. It sucks. I'm a college grad, military veteran and I can't find a good job. What the fuck!?

    When is this feeling going to end. I can't live like this over and over, it will kill me or I will go back to using and go live on the street. I tried to talk to my Mom but she got mad at me and now we aren't talking. SO, awesome… the only support system I have isn't there for me right now. She thinks I only think about myself which isn't true and is the furthest thing from the truth.

    I don't know what to do. I can't live feeling like this. Aren't I supposed to be feeling better and better with each day that passes? Why is it getting worse?

    I don't know… I just don't know but I don't want to feel this way. I just want to be working at a good job and be near my family. I hate everything right now.

Comments

  1. Beenthere2Hippie
    Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    I am glad you posted tonight, Mel, even though you're feeling awful. And I'm also glad to hear you got your car registered and got a California license. All great news, truly.

    If you look ,below, at the particular sections of your post I've attached to this thread, you'll notice that most of its contents is about your feeling awful and not understanding as to why every day isn't "getting better." Truth is, who ever told you that you'd be feeling better by now must know little to nothing about the true nature of a long-term user's detox.

    Mel, I do not know how long it's been since you've been fully sober for a long period of time (perhaps years), but there is no way for me to candy coat the fact that if you've been using for years and haven't had a truly long sober period in a while, you must realize that that feeling better is a ways off from now. And no one can soft pedal that down for you. You are in a shitty period of your life. Doing more H will only prove to do two things you hate: you could get called for it during y0ur good service court time, or you could saying fuck it all and resort back to using and windup even more broke, on top of being unable to even apply for a job.So please stay clear of the dope.

    Everyone is different and some people get over the worst of PAWS in a week or two; others can go months before feeling any improvement. What determines each person's length of time in hell, if you will, is fully dependent on their individual chemistry, so there is no way for anyone to tell you when things will turn around.

    That's why I keep on telling you that you need to find some kind of real life support system, and I don't mean a court-sponsored therapist or a guy down at the local AA meeting. I mean real help from a group like SMART Recovery (check out online) or sobersolutions.com. Both are free and offer help without the bullshit many recovery programs come crammed full of.

    I'm also going to give you two threads on PAWS to read. Both are excellent and will help immensely, if you take the time to read them. I've attached them backwards, so you're actually starting at the beginning of thread (where, to me, the real meat of the thread is) and work forward on each from there.

    Mel, I here and will not get tired of listening or answering your questions, and of supporting you in any way I can. You were a big help to me last week with the loss of my cat, and one good turn always deserve another, Buddy. So here's the PAWS threads. Read and hang tough is my best advice. Most of all, no matter how bad the cravings, do not give in and go to the support information links I've provided you along with the PAWS links.

    Try and keep busy or watch TV and veg. But read the links first, please.

    Sending you all the love I have in Mel, Girl.

    Bobbi (Here for you anytime.)

    PAWS by Richard Smoker *****Five stars: https://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=73599&page=24

    Opiate Detox by Dickon*****Five stars: https://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=76991&page=11

    SMART Recovery: http://www.smartrecovery.org/?gclid...9rdjB0HHrwHmINCHQXY6uVFFRdfqhhrqVUaAjmk8P8HAQ

    FREE Sober Solutions, in California: http://www.sober-solutions.com/california/free-rehabs-in-california/



  2. Fidget247
    Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    Mel,

    Don't worry about the job right now, you may find that it will give you time to get clean... properly. Being unemployed certainly made me clean up. You only have money for the necessity's. Also found having to go to work was a trigger for me.

    Let us know how you get on.. here if you need support.

    Good luck x
To make a comment simply sign up and become a member!