Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)
I don't even know if I should post tonight but maybe it will make me feel better. I have hit a low depression. Nothing makes me smile. Today I went to the DMV to get my registration renewed and to get a california's drivers license instead of the texas one I have. So, all that went ok I guess.
I'm feeling completely empty inside. I don't want to use but the cravings are there. I have no sober high like other's speak of. Music doesn't sound better. The sky and trees don't look any better. Everything looks the same. I feel horrible. I feel like I don't even want to live. I'm supposed to have a job interview tomorrow working at a job I don't want making pennies per hour. It sucks. I'm a college grad, military veteran and I can't find a good job. What the fuck!?
When is this feeling going to end. I can't live like this over and over, it will kill me or I will go back to using and go live on the street. I tried to talk to my Mom but she got mad at me and now we aren't talking. SO, awesome… the only support system I have isn't there for me right now. She thinks I only think about myself which isn't true and is the furthest thing from the truth.
I don't know what to do. I can't live feeling like this. Aren't I supposed to be feeling better and better with each day that passes? Why is it getting worse?
I don't know… I just don't know but I don't want to feel this way. I just want to be working at a good job and be near my family. I hate everything right now.
I really need some support, please help me - Part 99