Yes, I dosed up. I wish my doctor was in town, but as usual, he is out of town with no one to cover. I've had seizures before, so I wasn't too worried, although obviously that one was from the withdrawal. Usually, they are every few years from a fever or something. It's infrequent enough that I have a driver's license still at least.
I'm female, BTW I know, easy to mistake me for the man in the family because I'm the one who works and makes money for us. My husband works too but doesn't bring in as much. Fortunately, he's seen me have seizures before and knew what to do. We do want to keep it a little discrete. I think I need to just be careful about noticing if I am having that degree of weird feeling, not to cut. It was definitely intense feeling before the seizure. The problem for me is that I'm very stoic and can sit there feeling really weird and just kind of take it before, wham! Problems. It's interesting though because I never had a seizure during the worst of the xanax taper, although I basically lost my mind instead. This time, I wasn't having any terrible thinking problems. I just felt VERY spun up and like I couldn't quite mentally stop going and going and going to the point that what was spinning through my head was almost incoherent.
I actually worked in that condition, but fortunately, no one said anything if they noticed at all? I have to be very aggressive and outspoken when I am working, and I do all of this public speaking in front of a lot of people, ranging from dozens to hundreds.
So it took me two days to feel normal, but than I felt okay. Now I'm reducing by 1/2 mg every week instead and making sure I don't feel spun up.
I am also taking as much damned valium as I need when I do major public speaking at work, but that's still not more than 25 mg so far in a given day, which is still progress because it's still less than before, and at most, that's maybe once or twice a week.
I'm down now to 16 mg valium as of September 11 and will see how this goes. I stair-stepped slowly in 1/4 mg increments every few days to get here and actually, feel okay for the moment. I'm going to talk with my doctor when he's back.
The ER in the US is scary and not a place I want to go. I would not want to call 911, our emergency number, where I live because we have a lot of instances of police killing people having medical problems (seriously). When you call 911, it's police AND ambulance who come here, but police usually arrive first, and if you're acting strangely, out with the tasers. I'm terrified of these people. I'm also not keen on the ER because it goes on your permanent record, and I would have my license taken away for three years, which would cause my family to go broke.
So I told my husband if this ever happens again to quickly crush 40 mg. valium up and put under my tongue. I think that's all the ER would do anyway, only IV. I'm not too worried because that sucked, and I was freaked out when I wrote about it (and also really angry and a little dazed still), but I've had these from time to time since I was a little kid, and I've always refused to take epilepsy medication because I just don't have these seizures frequently enough to dope myself up all the time; benzos obviously have been helpful although I think I had a few seizures on them anyways here and again over the years.
If it worsens, I will see a neurologist though. At least I can't remember what happened. And at least I'm almost always with people and am rarely ever alone (just how my life is). Coming off benzos can worsen this, but that's what the US wants us to do. They even want people with pretty severe epilepsy to stop taking benzos. It's all the rage here. It's stupid. But what to do? There's a really strong increase in anti-benzo sentiment that parallels what you see in the UK and Australia these days. Then you have countries like the Netherlands or Spain or Portugal or France where there's more acceptance of benzos, I think, as legitimately therapeutic drugs.
I am very much wondering if there are natural herbs for preventing seizures that do work because they must have to use these in some developing nations and such. Or what did they do for epileptic seizures, I wonder, before depakote and all that? I'll have to look into this more. I've been so busy... sigh... even today... busy, working all weekend, all week, all weekend, all week, without a day off since early August now, I think. I could have had the seizure, in retrospect, from some sleep deprivation since I'm working so much that I've been sleeping for 4-5 hours a night sometimes up to a week out of necessity.
Needless to say, I'm overworked!
I promise not to die! Much love back to you, and I hope you're doing very well. I'd worry more about anyone who had NEVER had seizures before and then had one. I don't have that many, but oh boy, they are weird when I do. It's been 20 years at least since I saw a neurologist about them, but that I did have some proclivity for them was crystal clear on the tests. I went because I had one while walking across the street after being up for 48 hours, and I guess I had one right in the cross-walk. That's part of why I try to get sleep! But the FDA now limits zolpidem, so I'm trying to reduce there too... (not amused by any of this). I'm usually able to sleep though on 17.5 mg ambien from 25-30 mg, for a month consistently, with zero problems, so that's good, although anything below doesn't do much. I combo it with 5 mg. melatonin which makes me drowsy since ambien doesn't. And I changed melatonin brands and fine this one stronger, so I'm drinking just one shot of liquor again instead of two!
PROGRESS! All around. Despite some setbacks. And I've not lost my job, which is really all that I care about with all of this (or my mind).
I've been mainly just on valium for a week after twenty years of xanax - Part 36