La di la thanks for your post
I do carry out your advise every time I go through this but once that "fuck it" moment comes I do what ever I have to to go score no matter how difficult I tried to make it for myself.
I need to grasp and act on the fact that I can stop the process at any time from phoning dealer..driving to pick up...putting that needle in my arm
I can understand how it must be so frustrating to family of addicts to watch them relapse time and time again..but no one can truly understand what an addiction is like until they been there
It seems like as soon as I have that split second "fuck it" moment I'm off out the door and don't even to try and talk my self out of it as feels like I have already gone past the point of no return but of course like I said I am free to say no at any point
I hope to have the strength during this withdrawal to be able to stop/stall myself during one of these moments and question what triggered it and maybe just maybe the craving will pass
As I type this all the horrible physical symptoms are peaking and I feel like I just wanna crawl under a rock and stay there.
I have been keeping up with other threads and it feels like recently lots of you have managed to get clean and while I am really pleased for you it also makes me feel a little sad that I can't do it as well. Any one who has got through an opiate detox has my up most admiration.
I just hope that this time I can also cross over to the clean side