I've been quiet recently and had almost resigned myself to a life of continued using and an early death but have found some strength from somewhere and am giving it another try. This is due to reading other threads where people have it so much worse than me but still manage to get clean.
I'm just coming into day 4 of cold turkey and won't bore you with all the usual hideous symptoms which are all there. The cravings are not to bad this time and I am determined to try and get out for a walk everyday and eat something as am sure that laying on the couch covered in slimy sweat for days just makes me feel even worse.
I won't go on to much as will look a complete fool if I screw this attempt up along with all my other attempts but I'm secretly optimistic that this might just be my time.
charliecat added 892 Minutes and 51 Seconds later...
I'm still hanging in there...it's just gone 4am and this is my 4th night on the trot with no sleep but no mad cravings still just very very sick..
I watched trainspotting last night and although I love the film as seems to be quite realistic now every time I try and close my eyes I keep replaying the cold turkey scene where Renton is locked in his bedroom complete with sound track going over and over in my head. Years ago I found my friends baby in her cot after she died from a cot death (nothing to do with drugs) but boy that scene keeps coming back to haunt me along with all the other deaths I have witnessed. There faces swirling around and around me. My life has been spared when all around me lost there's. Why me? There has to be a reason. I'm gonna imagine there all up in heaven cheering me on to get clean. I am not alone as they are by my side guiding me through.
I can do this