ive finally jumped from 20 year Heroin habit - Part 87

By charliecat · Feb 14, 2015 · ·
  1. Thanks for all your support guys I really needed it. Yesterday was a terrible day I was completely overtaken by anger and rage which made me feel like I was gonna explode all day. I ended up punching a wall and hurting my hand and boy does it hurt this morning. What an idiot.

    It is 5am Saturday morning and my last shot was Monday morning so I guess this is the start of day 6 and I think I do feel a little better today. The hot flashes are reducing and now just cold all the time but is better than going from hot to cold every few minutes. I keep wanting to stretch my body but when I do the most painfull cramps happen in my legs, back and neck but I can handle that. My plan to make sure I eat something and go for a walk everyday hasn't happened but determined I will today. I know I have to be extra strong today as it is often when I start feeling a little better that I go and use. It's mad but my brain starts telling me how well I've done and that I deserve a little hit and we all know how that pans out.

    I have done this without any comfort meds as I don't know where to get any from. It's mad I can walk out my front door and score heroin or crack within minutes but have no idea where to get some valium or sleepers from to help me through but at least I won't have to worry about tapering off anything I suppose. Just wish I could get a few hours sleep as time going so so slow. My body exhausted but my eyes keep pinging open and they look so weird with massive pupils I'm sure if anyone saw me they would think I'm a speed freak.

    I'm feeling really nauseas now so gotta go lay down for a bit. Hoping to find the energy and motivation to shower and get out the house for a bit later.

Comments

  1. LuLu81
    Hiya CharlieCat.

    I'm in bed but knew i wouldn't be able to sleep until i had written something first.

    I'm so proud of you, you are doing amazing, I've been rooting for you since i first read your thread a while ago. This is your time, I'm sure of it, you've maybe had a few blips but your determination to get clean and the courage you keep showing is so inspiring. Have you got a hot water bottle, it will keep you warm and really helps with the achy legs. Try and make sure you stay hydrated if possible, even if you don't manage to eat much, it might help with the cramps.

    I was just wondering if you could perhaps get your GP to prescribe you an antidepressant like Amitriptyline? I'm not saying you're depressed, but my doctors wont prescribe me benzo's but will give me these and they really help me sleep (although i did wake up feeling groggy until i was used to them). I think trazodone are another one which can help with sleep. The only other thing i can think of is buying something off the internet like Etizolam, but i think Amitriptyline would be a better bet as Etizolam are very addictive.


    They may even help with post withdrawal depression, if that's something you get.

    Anyways, will write more tomorrow. Just had to reply.

    Thinking of you.
    Take care
    Lu.
  2. marathonmel7
    Good job sweetheart! You're doing amazing! Day 6 is awesome! The worst is behind you. Just keep moving forward and power through it! I will be checking on you! I'm so proud of you. I know it's not easy and you're doing it! Just remember how much you're accomplishing each day! I had huge pupils for about three weeks while detoxing but they will go away. Just be patient.

    Love to you my friend. I'm here for you. You can DM me if you want.
  3. CKitten
    CharlieCat-

    I've read your story front to back- watched your strength through the ups and downs.

    Punching that wall to release that rage is sometimes EXACTLY what you need to do. The pain afterwards does suck but you have a reminder of that explosion. That reminder can keep me away from going heavy handed into my DOC. Mostly because I need my hands to get into the bottles.

    Ice and a deep breath also help...

    Kitten
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