Thanks for all your support guys I really needed it. Yesterday was a terrible day I was completely overtaken by anger and rage which made me feel like I was gonna explode all day. I ended up punching a wall and hurting my hand and boy does it hurt this morning. What an idiot.
It is 5am Saturday morning and my last shot was Monday morning so I guess this is the start of day 6 and I think I do feel a little better today. The hot flashes are reducing and now just cold all the time but is better than going from hot to cold every few minutes. I keep wanting to stretch my body but when I do the most painfull cramps happen in my legs, back and neck but I can handle that. My plan to make sure I eat something and go for a walk everyday hasn't happened but determined I will today. I know I have to be extra strong today as it is often when I start feeling a little better that I go and use. It's mad but my brain starts telling me how well I've done and that I deserve a little hit and we all know how that pans out.
I have done this without any comfort meds as I don't know where to get any from. It's mad I can walk out my front door and score heroin or crack within minutes but have no idea where to get some valium or sleepers from to help me through but at least I won't have to worry about tapering off anything I suppose. Just wish I could get a few hours sleep as time going so so slow. My body exhausted but my eyes keep pinging open and they look so weird with massive pupils I'm sure if anyone saw me they would think I'm a speed freak.
I'm feeling really nauseas now so gotta go lay down for a bit. Hoping to find the energy and motivation to shower and get out the house for a bit later.