Journaling the effects of 30 days of healthy living on PAWS - Part 1

By MonkeyGuy · Sep 14, 2014 · ·
  1. I have recently hit a brick wall in my recovery. I had jumped from a small methadone habit about two months ago and had detoxed and been clean for some time, but then dabbled every few days in an opiate. I figured that because I was mostly clean I would still be making progress in my PAWS recovery. This has not been the case, I have literally made 0 progress in energy levels and mood, and worst of all, sleep hygiene. I put the pieces together and noticed several reasons why this could be the case. The most scary thing I could think of is that PAWS doesn't go away... But I know this isn't true as I have had many friends get through it as well as myself making leaps and bounds of progress during prior times being clean. I make this journal as an admission of my terrible living habits that could be contributing to my PAWS, and my attempts to correct them over the next 30 days. The four main points I am focusing on, are 1. my occasional use of opiates must stop, there is going to be no progress if I keep teasing my receptors and living in the addict mentality weather im taking 10 clean days for every use or 1. 2. My terrible diet, I eat 0 servings of vegetables today, eat and drink way too much sugar, and do not keep a strict and healthy diet. 3. Excessive tobacco use. I smoke nearly a pack a day, and this has to be limiting progress. I believe my body would heal far faster if I could eliminate this poison from my daily routine. 4. Exercise, I am going to be adhering to a strict weight lifting and aerobic routine to help produce endorphins. I am going to log my results physically, emotionally, and a "before and after" mental shot over the next 30 days of well living. I hope somebody finds this useful other than myself :) wish me luck, and please input advice. The concept of PAWS being permenant has had me contemplate suicide, but I know I have not done enough to help myself out to judge that as a possibility yet. If I live perfectly for the next two years and I make NO GAINS in my recovery, then I might consider it (morbid joke). Again please input anything you guys have that could help me that is non mind altering.

Comments

  1. TappingSoftly
    MonkeyGuy, you're correct, PAWS does eventually go away, but it takes time. You've only been clean for about two months, so you've probably got a ways to go. And I'm sure that dabbling in opiates isn't helping things. The thing that struck me about your post, though, is your referrence to a strict diet, strict exercise routine and living perfectly. If that works for you, that's great, but I'm concerned that if you set your sights too high, you may find it too difficult and just give up and maybe even relapse.

    I know that different things work for different people, but you might find it useful to know that what worked for me was pretty much the opposite approach. I was dependant on opiates for many years, and when I finally quit, I decided to take it easy on myself (my fragile state and whatnot). I found that taking life slow and easy, getting lots of rest, doing things I enjoy and above all not trying to be perfect really helped me get through my extended PAWS experience.

    You may very well want to take a different approach; you will have to decide what works for you. I just don't want you to set yourself up for failure by trying to do too much too soon. Be good to yourself. You're still in the early stages of recovery, and a little TLC, even the self-administered kind, might work wonders for you. Good luck!
To make a comment simply sign up and become a member!