Loperamide addiction withdrawal journey need support - Part 20

By gbread · Apr 5, 2015 · ·
  1. Day 14: 2 in the am and 3 in the pm - that's loperamide 2mg tablets.

    Hey RoadDoggy!! What a welcome post. Yesterday sucked. But guess what, I slept 8 hours and woke up feeling good. Now, if that isn't strange. Sounds like some personality disorder, doesn't it?

    I woke up feeling, well, normal. I ate breakfast, washed my dog in the sunshine and sat outside for awhile. I think I'm going to go back outside and do something else constructive. It seems I have a little energy today. Went to the bathroom. Normal. No aches or sweats.

    Loperamide is WIERD. Let me say I've tried everything over the years. And withdrawn from several things, including alcohol and opiates. But never felt such a shift in my brain. It's slow and grueling at times. I just CANT go back. I will hold at this dose for a few days.

    I think at some point I might jump off. I wrestle with the idea, and wonder if I should just stick out the tapering and let it ride. Ride Sally Ride!

    I wish I knew where to get the Valerian root stuff. I will look up some head shops in Athens.

    Much love and hugs! GBread

    gbread added 584 Minutes and 34 Seconds later...

    Day 14 - Evening. Lots of sweating today. No other withdrawals. Just the same malaise - sadness.

    I went to a meeting tonight. WOW. I really felt a lot of power in that room. About 100 people working together to stay clean and sober. Powerful. I am so grateful. The fact that the world I live in, the one I used to think was so lonely and just hostile, isn't really that bad after all.

    People are generally good. There is good in the worst of us and bad in the best of us. We're all just people, fragile, vulnerable, and more alike than we are different. It is refreshing to find this out. Why did I ever think I was so different? arrogance? Ignorance?

    We're all suffering at some point from the pains of growing up. I love how in meetings and on this awesome forum, we can come together, surround each other with love and really really care about each other. I don't know any of you, and yet I do. I know you because deep down, you're probably like me.
    I want the best for each and every one of you. I mean it.

    Tonight I went to dinner with some other fellow travelers and just keep finding strength and hope! People just like me who share honestly from the heart. Day after day. Meeting after meeting. These drugs and alcohol and all the vices we use to 'feel' a part of this world, that we think makes it o.k., really all I ever was looking for, was that love, that intimacy with people. I believe I am finally finding what I was searching for in those rooms, in these rooms. With them, with you.

    And to think it has come about because I was suffering through hell, and decided to do a search on loperamide, found these forums, RoadDoggy, Kitts, JungleDog and many others I don't even know. People I read about on other posts, and find I really care about them in their journeys.

    Corny? Ok fine. But I don't care. I love you all somehow.

    Love and Hugs to all, GBread:D

Comments

  1. Kitts
    Hey G,

    I'm so glad your feeling better. I can fully understand the ups and downs of mood. I've done the exact thing you mentioned earlier in your journal; written how bad I'm feeling, how low my mood and a day after I've written it I'm on top of the world, then a few days later I'm down in the dumps again. It's enough to make your head spin. There's good reason for people likening withdrawal to a roller coaster.

    Thankyou for keeping such a detailed journal. This will be most helpful to others contemplating and then going through the same thing. I love the way you are sharing the thoughts that occur to you, regardless of solutions. Sometimes it's just enough to acknowledge these thoughts and a solution will present itself later. Or not. It doesn't matter. What matters is that YOU are okay, and you are moving forward. And you are. You are making great progress. I can tell you're the sort of person who lights up a room and brings out the best in those around you. Well done for keeping going to those meetings.

    You're doing it GBread! You're getting there. :)
    Lots of love to you,
    Kitts.
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