Loperamide Gone Wrong (Possible Journal) - Part 12

By girlondrugs · Jan 31, 2015 · ·
  1. Capo
    Yes loperamide was a dumbass decision and I regret it to this day. I was on Tramadol for 3 years for my RLS and I quit them in August of last year because I was running out of them faster than I could get them filled. I browsed around and found loperamide and phenibut could help with withdrawals. The phenibut made me feel very bad so I dumped it and stuck with the loperamide.

    It's been 5 months on this hell roller-coaster and I want OFF.

    I've only ever been prescribed Perocets for my very bad menstrual cramps I used to have and the Oxycodone was for when I got my wisdom teeth taken out. I've never gone out and looked for pills from other sources or tried any other drugs even though I know ppl whom I could get them from. Hell I dont even like the taste of alcohol (unless it's nice and fruity and I can't taste it at all lol)
    I'm really hoping I can be a success story as well. :)

    So today went Okay. I took my 25 pills at 7 am but haven't taken them again as of yet. I was supposed to take them at 7pm but I stayed late at school to catch up ok work and after I got home i went out and walked around. Totally losing track of time with one of my friends. I'm starting to "feel" it now so now I guess my dosing will be at 11am and 11pm. I'm going to be paying closer attention to see if and when I can alter my taper Schedule, especially for school days.

    The Valerian root capsules did seem to work well with the kava tea last night. I find that the kava gives me weird dreams. Not scary or anything, just weird. I'm probably gonna end up taking my last dose then falling asleep since I've been up since 9 this morning. If I do wake up and can't do back to sleep I'll have a cup of tea. so tired guys! But again thank you all so much!!!!

Comments

  1. Capo
    Hey Girl,

    Looks like you made it to sleepyland. The vivid dreams you're experiencing could be down to the Kava or it could be that you're in a depressed state, which tends to increase the amount of time spent in REM sleep. Interestigly, I'm not depressed and I don't dream (dom't remember dreaming), but if I do dream, it correlates exactly with being depressed about stuff.

    Glad you had a good day yesterday. I'm not sure how the changing in dosage times is going to effect you, but I hope it has the desired effect.

    I've sent you a DM too.

    All the best, keep fighting and keep winning, we're all behind you!!!
  2. Fentiful
    I just want to say congrats to the the OP, Girlondrugs, and the other person cielochick on their decision and doing this. I must confess that I feel and bear responsibility for people like you, who have in recent years made the decision to use loperamide to taper.

    To explain, I was a big proponent of using it, a few years back when I'd discovered it was very useful in helping me get off of Fentanyl a couple years back when I was on a serious cocktail of some major drugs in high doses, using the Fentanyl patch, and even sublingually, oxycodone, gabapentin, muscle relaxers like zanaflex, and baclofen, after getting hooked on them after being on them longterm for severe injuries I suffered from an accident. Now I was by no means the first person to discover or suggest they might be useful, and I hope I'm not trying to credit myself for more than what I'm due, but I do feel guilty for the zeal of which I 'promoted" them after I discovered how well they worked for me, when combined with cimetidine. I was so euphoric and zealous after suffering through countless severe withdrawals from either running out of my prescribed meds too early after I started abusing them and/or trying to cold turkey withdrawal during one of my many decisions to clean up and get off of everything. Back then there wasn't a whole lot on loperamide and obviously there's still plenty of medical personnel and even addicts who don't realize it's potential but I've discovered in the last few years it's gaining recognition and popularity.

    No Capo, the vast majority don't take it to get high, at least as far as I can tell, but instead is seems that more and more are turning to it as a substitute or withrdawal aid with the help of cimetidine, which is said to help it better cross the "BBB" or "blood brain barrier" for a more potent effect. I know there must be some truth in that because I've tried it both ways and while loperamide did help me some in very high doses, meaning 72 pills or higher @2mgs each, it sometimes did nothing, especially the more my tolerance grew and the longer I stayed addicted to them unless I used the cimetidine as a potentiator 20 to 30 minutes prior.

    The danger in all this as some have come to discover for one is the serious risk of heart failure. I even read about a few deaths, one a young 20 something boy, from his mother who has supposedly went on a campaign to educate people about the dangers after losing her son, and from "Mad Margaret" I believe who got heavily addicted to high doses for awhile. Roaddoggy has spoken about her and recommended her in his thread I believe, during the time he was trying to kick or get off of the loperamide. You can do a "Google" search for her and also maybe find some useful advice and tapering recommendations on weaning down off of loperamide. I started feeling very guilty and responsible for promoting it as a withdrawal aid a few years upon recently discovering all the problems and severe risks associated with it, as more and more people have become addicted to it for longer periods and more is becoming known about it, as even some doctors, medical personnel and addictions specialists are becoming aware of it's use and the serious issues it can cause. I've also had to struggle with the addiction of it myself, and the possible damage I've done after years of heavy abuse of it and other substances.

    That's where I am today, almost 40 years old and your post resonated with me, "Tired, tired, tired of it....." and all the stuff you wrote that is all too common and a curse for us addicts of always reaching or waiting for that next pill, of running out, of being chained at home or never straying too far in case you run out, making sure you have enough....ALL of it! I won't go too much more into detail of that part as it sounds like we've all been there unfortunately! However, I have managed to come down quite a bit in the last year, although not near enough of how much I desire, which is to be completely off of it and ALL of the rest of my meds that I take! I suppose when I look at the big picture, I have come a long way from the start, kicking the Fentanyl, oxycodone, hydromorphone, morphine and all the heavy stuff I used to be addicted to and even the hydrocodone that I also was addicted to and how it all started and then later was dropped back down to it. I even have gotten back down to my prescribed amount of gabapentin but will still have to cross that bridge once I deal with this loperamide situation.

    So for me that pretty much leaves me addicted to the loperamide, occasionally using hydrocodone to bring my dose down as I'm prescribed it for chronic pain, and on a significant amount of gabapentin. I was recently diagnosed with Non Hodgkin's lymphoma a few months back after discovering a lump in my left armpit, and had also been experiencing extreme fatigue more and more, bone aches, significant weight loss as well as a few other seemingly innocuous side effects. I had actually started to suspect that there was something serious going on for awhile prior to the diagnosis, and I believe I may have even discovered it sooner had I not chalked everything up to "withdrawals" and the general sense of not feeling well most of us addicts have come to experience.

    That brings me to your thread, it happened to be the first thing that jumped out at me as I came on the forum to search for a possible link to lymphoma and loperamide, as I recently discovered some doctors are finally admitting a link to opiates and immunosupression especially drugs like Fentanyl, which loperamide happens to be similar in pharmacology to, which is why it worked so well to help me get off of it and has a longer half life than other opiates like hydrocodone. I'd noticed that when I was on opiates I never got "sick" like with the cold or flu, even when I was repeatedly exposed to it and others were sick all around me like my kids and family. I know others have noticed this as well but in the past when I tried to do find medically documented research on it, there really wasn't much available on it at the time. Fastforward to the present, and I started looking for a possible cause of my cancer, and came across a few documented cases with a strong link between opiates and immunosuppression, which lymphoma can be caused from.

    Please don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say this loperamide or ANY opiates can cause a direct link to cancer, or Non Hodgkin's disease specifically, I'm just stating the information that I've found during my research into what may have caused my own personal experience with NHL and cancer. Either way, if it is found to be the case, it should be put out there so others can know of the danger, just as with the heart risks it can cause! Even if it's not found to, there are plenty of reasons for people to not get addicted to it going off of another drug, or to get off of it if they already are addicted to it!

    After finding and reading your thread, I can definitely relate to it and it just gives me hope, reading about the others who have gotten off of it, and seeing people such as yourself and cielolchick who are trying and determined to! You are young, and I know you can do this, and I believe that I can as well! I know I MUST, if there's even the slightest risk that it can interfere with or cause problems with my treatments! I think I will start coming back here, and maybe even start my own thread, as I didn't mean to hijack yours....just wanted to share what was going on with me and how I came to find your thread and felt compelled to share! I haven't came to DF regularly in a long while, after kicking the hard stuff, and after awhile I felt like I was wasting too much family time and time I could be getting stuff done for my family reading all the crazy stuff I was on here. I would however pop in time to time, and I'd intended to follow Roaddoggy and be supportive of his withdrawal as I continued to taper myself but then I got busy, as life goes on. At least I hope it does for me, and I know my chances are better if I'm not addicted to ANYTHING, so that's my goal and what I must and will do! I'm here if you want to talk and I hope you continue to update us and hang in there! You're friend is absolutely right and I've never appreciated the cliche "One day at a time.", as much as I do now.

    Up to this point my "taper" has been a bit unconventional and since my post is so long I won't go into it much. But basically I reduce it by as much as I can comfortably tolerate until I'm stable a few days, so it sounds like it's somewhat similar to the taper schedule someone else mentioned. Doing it that way I was able to come off of 72pills, twice a day, approximately 12 hrs a day optimally as you discovered, down to 35 pills, twice a day, in a relatively short time, a few months I'd say. I've had a few set backs though I should mention, and could have actually went down a lot sooner, within a few weeks, but I ended up back on higher doses after "binge" on the hydrocodones which in turn led to me going back up to higher doses of loperamide and then finally back down.

    Ugh....like you I'm SO tired of it all, literally, my body just can't take it anymore obviously and I don't want to die! It's so ironic in some ways, that there was plenty of times I could and should have overdosed and possibly died in my past but made it through only to get hit with this! I lost a child even, which led to a time of heavy addiction and made it through that and have ended up here. I believe I can make it through both getting off of all the drugs AND beating the cancer but I'm going to have to fight the fight of my life to do it all and in short order as the disease is fairly advanced, Stage 4. It's not curable supposedly, but it is treatable, and I've heard of people not having it return for a long time if at all so that's what I'm shooting for! My opiate addiction may not have been the underlying cause of whatever triggered the lymphoma. However I'm sure being heavily addicted for years had to have some kind of negative impact on my overall health given the immunosuppresive ability of opiates, and they suspect my lymphoma started around the same time I stated using heavily and after I'd been using for awhile.

    So that's my story, or at least part of it, and it's one I'm really hoping and praying ends well! As I desire the same for all of you who are experiencing the same, trying to get cleaned up and end your addiction to opiates or whatever you may be addicted to, along with whatever other things you might be dealing with like cancer or what not! If any of you happen to know of anyone else on here struggling with cancer and addiction issues, please let me know so I can find out some related information I'm searching for. I'll try to update my progress regularly but can't make any promises how often, depending upon my health, but I'll do my best even if it's just reading along silently and praying for you all! Best of luck and warm wishes, if it's truly what we want, and for me it IS, we can and WILL! It Girlondrugs, it sounds like you really do, if you just find and stick to a taper that's comfortable enough while still making progress, you should be off within a few months as you're not on really all that high of a dose comparatively to some of the heavier doses I've seen some on. Like Roaddoggy said though, "we all heal at different rates", so it could be a little less or a little more, but the main thing is to plow ahead, a day at a time, and don't get discouraged or look back!

    Sorry for the lengthy post, I guess I had more to get out than I thought.
    Take care all, Fent
  3. cielochick
    Good morning Girl (formerly) on Drugs,

    It sounds like yesterday was a success. "Ok" is good. Like I said, I've had a mild headache for a month & I'm just not exactly myself. Hard to put it in words. Maybe "irritable". Like yesterday, I over-reacted to my kid getting a C+ on a test we had studied hard for. So I've been apologizing a lot this past month--to loved ones & to myself. My favorite mantra when negative feelings arise is--"this is the road to better & I'm going to stay on it."

    Fentiful--I absolve you. I had read Mad Margaret before I tried loperamide so I chose loperamide with eyes wide open because she makes a powerful case. I just thought I could beat it. The skin-crawling feeling I had from trying to kick tramadol left me too desperate--I would have done anything. It wouldn't surprise me at all if loperamide causes cancer. Just think, all those toxins that our body is trying to flush away remain with us for days & days..... Hoping & praying for the best for you, G.F.O.D. and really everyone on this thread. CC
To make a comment simply sign up and become a member!