My battle with Opiates/Opioids... - Part 4

By Cam520 · Nov 13, 2014 · ·
  1. Sorry I havent updated in awhile...

    I have been consistently going to the clinic to where I have a daily routine (that I actually quite enjoy, its nice to wake up and have a purpose again, much like I used to when I was working a normal job and had a normal life).. I get up around 5am, get to the clnic around 520 and by then the initial rush is gone and I get in and out in usually less than 5 minutes, tops.. usually more like 1-2 minutes.

    I am now on 60mg, and plan on going to around 80-100mg before I stop. I have no withdrawals, and have not had any withdrawals since getting to 30-40mg... but still had some cravings and still have some cravings. Many people suggest that I gut it out and stay around 40-50mg since I am not having any withdrawal symptoms because in the long run they say it will be easier to come off of, and they may have a point but at this time in my life I am not concerned with worrying about coming off, hell I just started to get my life back together.

    Thusfar I can honestly say this is the best decision I could have made for myself. I am so much happier now that I dont have to worry about the daily grind of finding opiates, worrying about withdrawal, the guilt associated with it, not having any money..not being able to focus on getting a new job...etc. This allows me to have a normal day and not think about opiates, and gives me the structure I crave because it is similar to life before opiates where I would wake up every day at a certain time, go through the motions, etc.

    The reason I want to bump to 80-100mg is to ensure I have enough methadone in my system to block any possible high I could get should I succumb to my cravings, which I have a few times since starting treatment. They werent large, but still I cheated myself.. although the high was greatly diminished, it wasnt diminished enough to stop me from craving another... I will worry about coming off methadone when I get my life together, and that is awhile away.. 6 months MINIMUM.. more than likely at least a year. Since I have complete control of when I come off and how fast or slow I want it, I figure when I do decide to come off, 1mg per week should be fairly painless, and when I get to lower amounts and it gets more painful, I can go to 1mg every two weeks, or whatever works.. there is NO rush... this is all about my recovery... whether it takes one year or 5 years doesnt matter to me... the ends justify the means in this case because I am doing everything legally and ethically.

    So I am feeling great, my life is slowly starting to come together and I could not be more pleased with my decision. I feel it is a shame methadone gets such a bad rap... granted if you had to detox from it quickly I can understand the pain it can cause... but if you control how fast or slow you come off of it and only come off when YOU are ready... then I feel it can be done with minimal pain and the benefits far out weigh the risks.

    BTW.. .I have tried suboxone/subutex... it worked well the first time, but ever since then I was miserable on it... induction was always especially hard... I felt like crap for days even when I waited the appropriate amount of time to get on it... I didnt have precipitated withdrawals, but I still felt like I had been hit by a car and had no energy or desire to do anything.

    Methadone is definitely for me.

Comments

  1. Dreggs
    Out of interest, what stops you going the whole hog and using the methadone to taper and quit now? You know the longer your on it, the tougher it'll be.
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