Some of you have seen my earlier post about going to rehab and my addiction.
Let me just fill you in real quick. I have been addicted to oxy from a year and a half. Prior to this I had a minor addiction to percocet after having my wisdom teeth out, which I abused for about a year. I managed to quick my 15mg habit back then cold turkey. Now with my addiction to oxy was brought on by having double jaw surgery. It was a very hard surgery. I was given all kinds on pain meds, from demerol, to morphine. .then settled on to oxy.
I'm not gonna lie, when I was given the oxy, it was like ripping a band aid off my percocet addiction. I started abusing them right away. At 6 months my doc cut me off, but I knew a close friend going through cancer who basically had an unlimited supply. I played the old pain card, and convinced them to supply me. Another big mistake! !! So long story short I was up to about 200 to 250mg of Oxy a day.
My problem got so bad it started to show. My friends could see I wasn't myself, I was calling in to work all the time (and I'm a manager who has 43 people who report to me) I was sick of the lies, I was afraid I'd loss my wife, my daughter, my career, my house. Everything! That when I told my wife I have a problem and need help.
We set out to find a treatment that would work best for me. After visiting my family doctor I was able to get set up on a taper plan, I managed to drop my 200mg hhabit in half in 2 weeks. I suffered minor withdraw, but when it came time to drop more, I just couldn't do it. I got so depressed. My life felt empty. (You know an addicts mind, it feels weak and will make any excuse to hold on)
So from here my family doc advised I'd be better have getting real professional help. (I didn't want methadone or suboxone) did want to trade one habit for another.
So I set out to find a nice private inpatient rehab clinic. We found this beautiful place out in the country that was in an old manor. They had swimming pools, hot tubs, gym, all the bells and whistles....so we thought. The counselor who sold me on this place told me so much Bullshit. Basically everything I wanted to hear. So I agreed to pay their 15 grand price tag and set a day.
I arrived sept 8th, where I was greeted. The secretary yell me to say my goodbye to my wife in a prompt voice. From there I waited 30mins to get a room. Finally we bring my bags upstairs and we ask the program director which room I'm staying in. He yells, this is the least of my concern right now! So finally I'm given a room. It's a large room...but packed with 3 other men. One of which snored like a 350 Chevy engine. So after unpacking, I went down stairs and meet a lot of patients. They were all very friendly. Most of them were there from alcohol abuse. However I did meet 2 others coming off oxy.
Now here's where things get fishy. They tell me I have a doctors appointment at 2:30pm (but they claimed to have medical detox on site!) So we drive into town to see this shady as doctor who gives me some clodine and something else to help me sleep. We get back to the house and I'm given my meds right away. They make me tired and I go up and sleep. I'm just tossing and turning like crazy. My legs can't stop moving. I'm now in withdraw. It's now 12:30am and I get up. The bed is soaked, I have the chills. My stomach is turning. Just feeling nasty. So I wrap myself up and decide to go for a smoke. Off course people are always awake in rehab! Had some good conversation, heard some horror stories of people's experiences. Around 3:30am I decide I want to go back to bed. I ask the 1 counselor who's on duty for my meds and some gravol. He tells me it's not med time. I tell him I'm in withdraw and need my meds now!! So he gave me my meds...but no gravol. I go up to my room and fall asleep at 5am and wake at 7 am.
I go downstairs for breakfast. Didn't eat much as I was feeling sick. Again. Spent my day wandering and smoking. My lunch time I'm full withdraw. Not once has a counselor seen me, or anyone check up on me. I'm missing my family like crazy now. I'm in this strange house with 25 patients. ..and only 2 blood counselors? !?!? I'm beginning to get mad, I paid all this money for what?!?! I'm doing it on my own anyways. Turns out many other patients are feeling the same. Everything they sold us was a lie!! No personal counseling. No medical detox, it just seems like no one cared. You could never find a counselor (25 people and only 2 of them) so I'm fired up and want to leave. I can do this in the comfort of my own home.i read my contract, and if you leave within 5 days of treatment (really no treatment) you get 60% of your money back.
so I go to the program director and tell him I feel I've been cheated. I'm stuffed in a room with 3 guys, our bathroom is unfit to bath in. I have not seen a counselor or been helped in two days. And that your way under staff to help this many people. He obviously took offense. I told him I want to go home. He fought with me and wouldn't let me call my wife. Finally I said to him. You have to choices. You let me call my wife now!! Or I'm packing my bag and walking into town and getting a cab. So he finally let's me use the phone. My wife has no idea what's going on. He's sitting there with his finger on the phone trigger. After pleading for her to come get me she says yes. I'll be there at 7 PM.
I pack my bags. I'm now waiting to get out of this hell hole and finish my detox in my own bed, where I can take my meds when I need them. At 5:30pm the program director tells me to call my wife. I'm confused but say okay.... I call her, and she's telling me he called her and said I'm lying to her and I would say anything to her just to get out of here because I'm in withdraw and want to use. He told her I would complain about being understaffed and told her not to come get me. My blood is boiling now. They are trying to get me to stay past the 5 days so they get an extra 9 grand off me. I tell my wife I'm coming home today. I'll take a cab. she's crying and confused. She says okay she will come. I was never so happier to get out of that place.
I explained to her what was going on and she completely understood. I will be contacting a lawyer to discuss getting a full refund due to false advertising.
I will be back in a bit to continue how I'm doing.
"The contents above are from a crazy man's journal I found"
House32 added 212 Minutes and 35 Seconds later...
So I'm now at home, it was such a relief to be home and see my little girls face. When I got home I was 48 hours into withdraw. I know to some that may not seem like a lot...but to me it was everything. I swore to my wife on my daughter's life i will never touch another pill for as long as I live. Even writing that brings tears to my eyes.
The first 48 hours were hard, but I was expecting worse. I experienced hot and cold flashes, the feeling of pins and needles through my whole body, sweats, body aches and diarrhea.
One benefit of going to rehab for the short time I did, made me realize I'm much stronger then I thought I was. While I was using I felt powerless. But being clean for 48 hours opened my eyes to the emotions I have been missing from being numb all the time. It's like the flood gate has opened. I've never cried so much in my entire life.
I'm now 82 hours into detox and am feeling strong than I did at the 24 hour mark. The diarrhea is now gone, I am still getting minor tingles that come and go. I do feel cold. But the worse part I'm dealing with is the body aches. They are terrible. I'm taking Tylenol and Advil to ward it off, but it's not helping much. I've also been soaking in a hot bath which does help.
I'm so proud of making it this far. I feel so strong in my spirt, even though my body is week. I haven't had as much cravings as I thought I'd have. But I've been filling my time listening to some music, reading this great book "how to cure the addicted mind" and just the love and moral support of my family.
Just which these body aches would go away!! Any tips of tricks?
I'll leave it at that for now, I'll check in tomorrow and update.
"The contents of this journal are from a crazy mad man I found"