I wanted to take it for my migraine, but I also thought it would give me a buzz. I've been taking Advil and Tylenol all day with no relief. I did take 1 tramacet, but funny enough. After 22 days clean, no buzz?! But my headache has subsided
I think I'm gonna toss them as well. I've had them since detoxing, so my will is strong. And I'm so proud of myself for not eating them all!!! But it's like my brain is always looking for something. It's weird, I mean I feel strong. As I said, my life is slowly coming back together. I'm going out and enjoying life (just got back from my daughter's dance class) I would of never of gone when I was using. But there's this feeling deep down that wants to always get high. I don't know if it will ever go away. (Going to mention it to my psychologist on Thursday)
I was happy I was able to handle a few drinks okay, I was so worried I'd get addicted to that too!!! But me and hangovers don't go over so well. I'm just trying to find a happy medium I guess without drugs, but still indulge in other life pleasures. I just find it so funny that alcohol is socially acceptable. I mean people drink a glass of wine every night, people binge drink every weekend. And it's okay? Because that's what we have been told or taught. But if someone bust out a line at a party, it's not okay?
I'm definitely not going to lapse, I have to much to lose. I'm gonna be a good boy from here on out because that's what normal people do right? Lol. I'm suppose to return back to work October 17th, and I'm certain they are gonna ask me for a urine test. So ya, have to be good. I need my job.
I wonder if it's possible to not have depression, but always urn for something more? I mean I don't feel depressed ATM. Just I feel like something is missing. But I've always felt like that. Even before opiates. It was always something. I've always had this need to get high. Is it possible to be born an Addict? My real father (don't know him) was a heroin addict. He left before I was born. I wonder if it's possible to pass addiction. My mom's side is full of alcoholics, gamblers and pot heads. Maybe it's in my genes? But for the time being, I'm happy where I am at. I've never felt so Sharp in my life. Like the fog has lifted.