Well today is 31 days!!!
I must say I feel incredible. I've been keeping up with my exercise, and I've now started doing weights. While I was using, I loved eating junk food (chocolate) before bed. Since quiting, I don't crave sweets anymore. Prior to my operation I was 220lbs, I'm now 177lbs. I've lost 10 lbs since quiting oxy. That being said, I don't want to lose anymore. So ill up my weights and lessen my running.
I start back to work in 2 weeks, I'm really excited to return back to life. I feel motivated and stronger then ever.as far as depression goes, it's much better! I'm finding enjoyment in things again. I remember at around day 15 I felt nothing! When my wife touched me, I felt nothing. Seeing my daughter's smile should make me happy...but it didn't. Now I find myself finally feeling happy again. My wife and I took my daughter dress shopping on Monday. I stayed in the car. When they were leaving the store, I watch them walk back to the car, my daughter holding my wife's hand, skipping along. I felt like the luckiest man in the world to have such a beautiful family. I felt joy!!
I think I have realized why I had depression, I mean..In life everyone has an outlet to make them feel happy or relieve stress. From the person who eats to much, or the casual beer after work, or the chain smoker or the exercise junkie. I realized I had nothing. I felt like I cut off all enjoyment in my life. Since then, I've told myself it's okay to use Kratom every now and than, or to have an odd drink. Just as long as it's not an everyday thing. Since I decided this, it's like the dark cloud has moved on! On the weekend I used kratom sat night. It was perfect. The next day I had no urge to use it again. It felt good being in control of my body. I still have lots of kratom left, but will only take it when I really need that stress relief.
My wife supports this and understands that every now and then people need to enjoy life's pleasures.