Aww thanks guys, you make me feel very welcome.
Well a little update, I'll be approaching 7 weeks clean this Sunday. I must say, I finally have my life back!! I no longer think of getting high as a priority. I mean there are the odd time it may pop up, from seeing a family picture where I knew I was high, the memories are everywhere. But that's all it is. I have no cravings what so ever. I'd actually be afraid to take anything. A fine a example of how far I've come. I was at my mother in laws. I was looking for a pair of scissors, that's when I stumbled across 100s of 10mg oxy's. I stood blankly looking at bottles of my once best friend. The thought came to mind of just taking a few, but past just as fast, that thought brought on day 2,3,4,5 of my recovery. The cold sweats, the crawling skin, the stomach cramps and the mental agony. I don't want it! I don't need it. I'm happy where I am in life. So I closed the drawer and walked away smiling, that's when I knew I've really done it!!
I started back to work last Sunday, man it felt great to see the boys. I was greeted with warm welcomes. The funny thing is, they don't know why I was off of work. They thought I was just sick. Only my boss knows the real reason. So making up stories really sucker. Considering I have been working out ever since quitting my body is starting to take shape. One of my employees says "shit, you look in good shape for someone who was sick!" I just smiled.
Since going back to work, I feel complete. I wake up with a purpose in doing my job and supporting my family. I've stopped taking kratom. To be honest, the taste of it makes me want to throw up. Last time I took it I swear I was gonna puke. Besides I no longer need it as the cravings have passed and are not strong at all.
I will say to anyone who is doubting themselves, YOU CAN beat it. You just have to really want it for YOU. Not because your family thinks you need to stop, but because you genuinely want to take you like back. I was a slave to opiates for 6 years with a year break in between. I never thought I could ever beat it. But when I looked deep down on what really important to me. My daughter, my wife, my health, what if I died? What would my family think. All these things were going through my head. But everyday I said no, fought through the cravings, fought through the sickness, I got stronger! For me taper was a slow torture. Cold turkey was hard. But I got it out of my system quick! Then the psychological parts comes. I found reading books, watching TV, working out, writing a journal, just anything to keep your mind active and not thinking of drugs.
So overall I'm feeling amazing!! Like I'm free for the first time in my life. I was talking to my wife yesterday. I plan on sticking a work for a bit longer and save some money, I always wanted to run my own business. So that's my long term goal I'm working towards. Life is great with a clear head.