My Norco Withdrawal and Addiction Story - Part 11

By sadbutglad · Nov 21, 2014 · ·
  1. Hi guys,

    I don't have great news, but news nonetheless. My doctor prescribed me 120 10 mg. norcos for each month. I was prescribed 90 a month, now it's 120. And she did it with a smile. No fuss, no fight. I continue to teeter with wanting to get my shit together and convincing myself my shit is together. The lies we tell ourselves to continue to engage in the use of these pills is unbelievable if you really think about it. I know this addiction is awful. But all seems well when the bottom of my pill bottle is no where in sight - just pills to the brim. By the way, 120 pills doesn't cut it for the month. I take between 6-7 pills a day, so you do the math...yes about 180-200 pills a month. When I just get the refill who knows how many I take a day. I just pop them like tick tacks.

    I simply need to imagine my life without them and envision myself healthy, happy, and drug free on a constant basis to hold on to the idea that I can do this. To get to your goal, it has to be tangible mentally first. With a frown on face, I cannot see myself not picking up my next script.

    I'm an addict who feels I need these pills to cope with life. I believe they take the edge off of the extra BS I come in contact with every day when the truth is the worst bullshit I come in contact with every day is my own. I need to get real with myself and leave these pills alone. But....I'm not ready to. The sleep is too sweet, the gentle nods are too addictive, and the pain management is too beneficial.

    sadbutglad

Comments

  1. lostlygirl
    Hi sadbutglad,

    Awareness it's the first step to recovery and you are aware you have a problem. Not only that, your aware that you have underlying problems in your life that the pills help to numb.

    Often times we need to take care of the underlying issues before we can take care of the addiction. There would be no way in hell that I could have tackled my addiction while still married. I needed to get out of my marriage first and then tackle the addiction. If I had done it the other way around I would have relapsed over and over again. Whilst I am not where I want to be right now in both my life or my addiction, they are heading in the right direction. Each day takes me closer to my goal.

    I am not surprised your Dr was willing to prescribe you more. I have become a little more cynical and wonder how much of it is really just a business for them, ya know? I know you are not in a place where you can address your issues right now, but perhaps you could implement a few goals that would have you heading in the right direction?

    When I started with reduction I set a few easily obtainable goals that got the ball rolling. Here's a few that I did that I found really easy. It was less about denying myself the drug and more about control over the drug.

    1) Each time I wanted to take a pill I made myself wait 30 min to 1 hour. Not long, but I wouldn't immediately give into that urge. Set a length of time that's doable for you, even if it's only 15 min. After a few weeks of this I would often go longer without realizing. Every few weeks or so increase the amount of time you wait by 10 min.. Not too much, but just enough that it doesn't stress you out. You will be surprised at how easy this is.

    2) See if you can make your prescription last a day longer than the last month. If you do the above you will be surprised with how many days extra you have in each month. If you wait 15 min longer with each pill, then that's 1 hr 30 min a day, which will give you 2 or 3 extra days with pills each month. It adds up quickly.

    3) Once you have mastered the above, see if you can get your prescription to last the whole month.

    These goals are designed to get you moving in the right direction. At the same time see if there is a way to address some of the other underlying issues. Change can be hard and there's never a good time to address it.

    Keep your chin up, and keep posting. We all understand how hard this can be because we have all been right where you are.

    Hugs xxoo
  2. smith9666
    What she said ^^^

    That was some pretty good advice and I could see how that could help not only get into the correct mentality but to slowly taper. Even if you just take the 120 that you are prescribed, we both know that is a big difference from what you are doing now. Its should help with the feeling of being out of control and the pills controlling you.

    You will do it on your time but its hard to know when you are ready when the reality of giving up the pills is so scary. That's completely understandable. Regardless, you can do it.

    Keep up the journaling. :)
To make a comment simply sign up and become a member!