I don't have great news, but news nonetheless. My doctor prescribed me 120 10 mg. norcos for each month. I was prescribed 90 a month, now it's 120. And she did it with a smile. No fuss, no fight. I continue to teeter with wanting to get my shit together and convincing myself my shit is together. The lies we tell ourselves to continue to engage in the use of these pills is unbelievable if you really think about it. I know this addiction is awful. But all seems well when the bottom of my pill bottle is no where in sight - just pills to the brim. By the way, 120 pills doesn't cut it for the month. I take between 6-7 pills a day, so you do the math...yes about 180-200 pills a month. When I just get the refill who knows how many I take a day. I just pop them like tick tacks.
I simply need to imagine my life without them and envision myself healthy, happy, and drug free on a constant basis to hold on to the idea that I can do this. To get to your goal, it has to be tangible mentally first. With a frown on face, I cannot see myself not picking up my next script.
I'm an addict who feels I need these pills to cope with life. I believe they take the edge off of the extra BS I come in contact with every day when the truth is the worst bullshit I come in contact with every day is my own. I need to get real with myself and leave these pills alone. But....I'm not ready to. The sleep is too sweet, the gentle nods are too addictive, and the pain management is too beneficial.