Opiates are no match for benzos I see. After 2 nights of really no rest equated to a good 3 1/2 hour nap today that has me now wide awake. Sleep pattern is all jacked up. I'm staying the hell away from benzos for the rest of my life. Those things are bad bad bad. For anyone who hasn't really dabbled with them. DO NOT. They are really for people who are suicidal. If you're suicidal - then by all means. But if you want to take them for anxiety...I say, deal with the anxiety some other way. Coming off of benzos is awful and not worth the after effects. The panic attacks (rapid heart beats and feelings of doom) are worse than the anxiety you felt prior to taking them. Just a word for the wise.
As far as opiates go...I am so wrapping my mind around this bottle being my last rodeo. I can honestly say that the days I went without them showed me that the opiates are the cause for the pain. My pain was totally manageable on day 3 without them. Opiates desensitize us to the pain which makes us feel like any little pain is unmanageable - which isn't true; At least in my case. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Again, I'll be off of work the week of new years and knowing myself I will have run out by then. I will ensure that I don't exceed 20-30 mg/day prior to that week so the withdrawals aren't so bad.
Happy that I can set this goal for myself and allow myself to feel like it's actually feasible. Keep me posted on how you guys are doing. I always appreciate hearing from you guys. Thanks for the support =)