So I've decided to post about where I am now in my addiction. Things have gotten much worse. My boss hired a new employee who has the same monkey on his back, except he has access to much stronger pain pills. Dilauded. I've dabbled like an idiot which heightened my tolerance to the norco. I went from 1 pill a day, to 3, to 5-6, to 8-9, to 17 pills in one night. I've leveled out to about 10 pills a day. I ran through my 120 pill script in 7 days. I have 40 pills left of my 120 pill script and 3 weeks left until I get a refill. I really screwed myself. Starting tomorrow I'm going to take 6 pills a day until I get to day 5. I have a friend who i can usually get 30 from. If I can get 30 from her, I will continue to take 6/ day until I'm down to about 10 pills and then take 2 pills a day for 5 days till I run out. I have some kratom on the way which tastes like shit but works wonders for withdrawal. This time I don't know how the withdrawal will affect me since I've never withdrawn off of this amount before. I think I'm actually really afraid of my behavior this time mores than before. I'm always chasing the dragon. It has to stop. It simply has to. I was on the opiate addiction forum reading stories of so many others in the same boat. It's crazy how many people have this addictIon to opiates. what I hate the most about withdrawal is the stomach cramps, diarrhea, and insomnia. The great thing is I've been laid off since my boss is closing the doors and can no longer pay his employees. It gives me a chance to regroup and really get to the bottom of my addiction. Hopefully I can use this time to pursue an MRI to determine the true cause of my back pain.