My Norco Withdrawal and Addiction Story - Part 38

By sadbutglad · Apr 21, 2015 · ·
  1. She actually questioned my usage for the first time today like girl didn't I just give you 30 pills friday? Trust me this addiction is going down. I can't live like this anymore. I need to find myself again. I've lost the driven person I used to be because I'm so fukkin numbed up all day. And it seems like it's never enough. If I had an endless supply it would never be enough which is very scary. I've been praying for God to interveen. I know he will. Tomorrow I'll have 3 of the 10 pills I was given today. I'll try again.

Comments

  1. Jungledog
    I know you are said you just were not ready yet and that you have beaten previous addictions. By now you are probably figuring out opiates are not like other addictions. From a medical standpoint, the worst thing to get patients off of if you ever can is opiates. You are correct. There will never be enough and you will always need more. It isn't about willpower but tolerance. Opiates actually change your brain.

    You do not have control and your journal proves that repeatedly. You will continue in the cycle of use, withdrawal, use, withdrawal endlessly and each withdrawal takes another piece of your soul and each gets a bit worse. It will continue until you have finally had enough. Opiates truly fuck your endocrine system and it will take 1-2 years to reset things. It may be time to ask for help if you are not able to help yourself. Consider clonidine, gabapentin or perhaps suboxone for a bit to gain control.

    Understand that my post is not meant as a personal attack. I have been where you are and frankly it sucked. Felt like I lost myself within the haze of the opiates. All I can tell you is you can stop and you can regain your life. The process is long and it sucks but it is possible. You just need to commit to it.
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