My Recovery Journal - Part 1

By Elchino · Sep 29, 2014 · ·
  1. I'm writing this as a record for myself that won't be lost. Something that I can look at to remind myself of what happens when you lose control. I was addicted to all types of drugs. You name it I did it. But the biggest monkey on my back has been opiates. As long as I had them I was okay. I detoxes and stayed clean multiple times, but I always found myself circling back, stuck in the never ending cycle of addiction. Ultimately like any story I lost everything that was important to me, and in the end I really only have myself to blame. It's easy to get angry, to defer responsibility from myself. But you can't. I've been clean a while now. I truly feel like this is my last shot. I just hope that there's something left to save.

    Elchino added 83 Minutes and 28 Seconds later...

    I haven't really slept well lately. It has to be from the with drawls. It gives you plenty of time to think. Sometimes you wish you could go back and change it but that doesn't do much good. But I guess that's part of it. You can't focus on what you've lost, you just need to push forward a minute at a time, an hour, a day. And then what? I guess I don't really know. But I do know that if I can't get out this time I never will.

Comments

  1. cren
    Hi Elchino, how long has it been since you had some?
    I know you have mentioned you have been through withdrawal before so I have no doubt you can do it but keep posting for support.
  2. tryhard
    Always keep trying mate never give up on yourself mate..
    never stop trying to help yourself or others. .
    I like to think just sometimes maybe I can help others , that more than enuff ...
    Stay positive and keep posting. ..

    Andrew.
To make a comment simply sign up and become a member!