Hey thanks for the encouraging words everyone. I actually was writing this without the expectation of anyone reading it, so I appreciate all the feedback. It's been about 2 weeks maybe longer since I have completely stopped taking anything. It's been a tough couple weeks. There's a lot of guilt about what I did and the choices I made. The nights are the worst I'm sure you guys know all about the insomnia. I feel like I sleep maybe 2 hours of real sleep a night. I watch the hours go by drenched in my own sweat and suffering. It's uncomfortable but then again I've been through worse. The hardest part is accepting the responsibility of my actions. I blew it at life for the last 5 years but hey all you can do is look to the future. Thanks for reading.