My Recovery Journal - Part 3

By Elchino · Oct 4, 2014 · ·
  1. So I'm back. Still keeping this journal. I guess I've come to realize that I have a serious problem. The thing is if it's not opiates it's something else. I guess they are a crutch and one crutch is easily replaced with the other. I really need to find out what I am running from. That's a difficult question and I'm not even sure if I'm ready for the answer. Let me just be honest here. I have a serious addiction to drugs. I have had it for probably the last 5 years. It's real it's tangible I can feel it. It's a constant battle inside me, because I do know what's right. Eventually I became so ashamed that the only way to cope with it was to keep going deeper and deeper. I should say that emotionally I have hit rock bottom. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If I can just hold on maybe I can make it. Otherwise I'll be homeward bound.

Comments

  1. tryhard
    What is it that you are running from ? Mate I think if that is the driving force behind
    your problem ,, you need to be ready ,,, you know I wanted so bad to blame my behavior and adiction on some thing anything ....
    In the end I just don't no , I like to say I don't remember anymore , but I do .....
    I wish I didn't. ......

    At the end of the day in my case I think I just like the drugs ....
    I have not been through anything ,,, that people not on drugs have ,,, but because of the constant years of abuse and unstoppable hunger it becomes what it is .....
    Oh so real ,,, so very tangible ,,,, how did this happen ,,,,, how did I let this happen. .....
    Why did I do this to myself??????

    If you know ,try to deal with it mate be ready ,,, face it head on mate ,,,,, sort it ....
    5 years ,, you can fix that. ..fix it my friend.......

    Take my advice ,, plz don't find yourself another 15 odd years down the track ,,,
    Wondering what the fuck happend and how on earth you could do that to yourself ,,,,,
    Why you would knowingly let that continue .......

    Do you care for your life ??
    You know already if it's not to late ,, that this will kill you. ....
    Fix it while you can mate ,, reachout NOW ...
    DON'T WAIT TILL YOU DON'T CARE ANYMORE.
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