Nearly 40 days - will I ever feel ok? - Part 7

By Fidget247 · Sep 29, 2014 · ·
  1. OK, now I hate this, isolation, W/D symptoms... being straight. Come to realize why I take so many drugs.

    Seeing my life for what it really is at the moment. Have some hard choices to make & some ultimatum's to issue.

    I have easy out's but I don't want to take them. I can barely utter them out loud. Verging on an epic but well considered outburst that will mean nothing will be the same ever again.

    What do I have to do to be ultimately happy without it costing me money just to get out of bed. I've forgotten the last thing I did that bypassed the take drugs switch.

    Run out of drugs and start drinking like I'm in a contest, but, inevitably that will run out too. Why can't I just be.

Comments

  1. tryhard
    A mate , just read ya thread ,, you need to believe in yourself more ,, you sound like you have been strong in the past. ..
    So I think you already know what to do ,, then one day at a time ,, mate I believe some of us will have to fight this for ever. ...

    So don't despear , but it may just take some time to really get over all this ,, and maybe never totally....... I to an homeless and some times have to sleep anywhere I can ,, so the 20 pulse year habbit and being more on the street then off it ,,, I know will be with me for ever ,, I never expect to fully get over it. ...

    I spose some of us will just have to learn to coexist with it. ....

    As long as the motive to get clean remains ,, all we can do is tryhard to do our best and remain honest to ourselves.......
    Be strong mate , you can do this. ......

    Tryhard , Andrew. .....
  2. 4aMLife
    I did 10 months clean getting that way in jail, and i can tell you it sucked for a while. It was horrible. And i had a heavy IV methamphetamine, heroin, morphine, fent. Addiction.

    It was 2 to three weeks of absolute hell and sickness and depression, a lot of sleeping happened. Then at about 30 days all the major immediate symptoms subsided like vomiting and constant pain.

    I just felt cold all the time, and still couldn't enjoy much.

    After 60 days i was feeling good. Feeling enjoyment in simple things, adjusting to jail life made it easier but i was good regardless. Coming to terms with what ive done and who ive been doing for so long but painful in a good way when you get through it.

    After that there were some rough patches and a lot of cravings and idle fantasy. Especially when trying to go to bed at a certain time. But after 10 months i was fine, rarely thought about using. Occasionally at night but usually only every 3 days. With the distractions of the real world i rarely think about it. Sometimes but only in moments of obvious weakness, and im actuallu capable of talking myself out of it. Life like this is too good to give up.

    What im trying to say is it gets SO much better and enjoyment will return. You will feel more normal than weird and can feel the extreme comfort that you never have to go withdrawal ever again if you don't let it. This happened at first at 3 months.

    Compared to the years of pain im sure you have experienced 90 days isn't so long. The paws is typically gone at 90 completely.


    Good luck! I can tell you are capable and strong. You can definitely do this!
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