Good news: still off meth, comin up on 3 weeks. Smooth sailin so far
Bad news: still on the jalle every day, which goes a long way toward explainin why I was able summarize the last 3 weeks off meth as havin been smooth sailin.
Those jagged unpredictable emotional extremes that had me pickin fights in the grocery store during the initial phase of my may-june '18 short-lived escape from the hielo have been mostly eradicated thru judicious abuse of the jalle. I'm still a lil abrasive sometimes, but nuthin nearly as erratic as I was then. I think some of that is just a symptom of growin older. I gotta face it. Out in the real I'm just a hostile SOB. I ain't like the warm fuzzy SOB I am around here.
Bottom line: The condition my condition is in is better than it once was but not as good as it needs to be.
This is the benevolent purgatory two-point-oh. This is hedgin every bet I place. This is drivin with one foot on the brake, placin one hand on the bible and one boot on the devil's wing, strikin a balance between momentum and inertia, achievin neutral buoyancy, entertainin mutually exclusive ideas, and moderately extreme extreme moderation.
Empathy (to empathize with) is a beneficial character trait if utilized in moderation. To over-empathize often renders a person unable to make decisive timely choices. The overly-empathetic toad that walks on two legs who finds himself standin on the railroad tracks as a speedin locomotive is haulin ass straight toward him can clearly see both the benefits and the harm in hoppin to the left of the tracks, and he can see equally clearly both the harm and the benefits of hoppin to the right of the tracks. Should the benefit-to-harm ratio be the same on both sides of the tracks, the overly-empathetic toad that walks on two legs may linger a lil too long on the tracks cuz he can't decide which way to hop, which costs him his life.
True or False? "Moderation is key. Anything in excess is bad for us. Even things that are good for us become bad for us in excess"
False is the correct answer. Though the statement is essentially true, there are usually some exceptions to every rule. One example is warfare. "Mediocrity in warfare is imbicility" is one of my favorite quotes. Recovery from drug addiction is an addict waging war against his/her addiction. I believe addicts who achieve significant lastin recovery do so by makin recovery the top priority in their life and doin whatever they gotta do to reach that goal. An addict must divest himself/herself of any and all people, places, and things that impede recovery. They don't hedge their bets and they don't conditionalize their recovery. There can be no ambiguity. And this is where I fail. I'm never "all in". I always gotta leave the door open just a crack. And that's all it takes to set myself up to fail.
I've been up 24 hours, gotta problem with a fucked up crazyass naber. Cops just now took his worthless ass to the psyche ward. I'm gonna go get some sleep
Y'all have a decent day