Let me start by saying that I fell into this knowledgeable of what was happening. Being a cannabis user in my earlier yrs, I knew I had those addictive tendencies. I just thought it wouldn't get me. I lost my mom, and was prescribed Zoloft, for depression, temporarily. It didn't work. Coasting along, 2 yrs later, a surgery, Tyl 3's prescribed. I asked the dr for another couple weeks due to more pain, he obliged.
What came next was a little blurry, but I do remember a definite spiral, slipping, down... I was having what later was diagnosed as Lupus flares. I was put on pain meds, I think they were Percocet. I was also put on steroids. 8 yrs later...
When my back pain became too much, they sent for a MRI . The L1-L3, was degenerated, stenosis, slipping over each other. My pain was real, I didn't know how much, but I knew I was incapacitated. Surgery was next. Total open surgery, with cage and bolts. And more pain meds. So.....
.......it Has been too real, too scary. There were times I really thought I wasn't waking up. At the time, well, I think I didn't know if I cared. I just wanted no pain, no pills.
I had a good look at myself recently. Family will do that.
I started titrating down, planning on my escape from this addiction.
Things that are troubling to me:
1) I have discussed titration and my plan of eventually becoming free of pain meds, with my pain mgmt Dr. He said , " I don't think you will ever be able to be totally off of pain management ", and , 2) my spouse is not supportive.
I am not sure if I am supposed to list what I am on, my thoughts, my plans, what those involved with my life have said. I hope I have done nothing wrong here. I would welcome any support, comments, truths, or insights to said, familiar experiences that I have mentioned.