No idea how I got here, feeling a bit lost :( (but found myself again a happy ending) - Part 12

By cbabycee · Jan 16, 2015 · ·
  1. Re: No idea how I got here, feeling a bit lost :(

    Oh it's bad now. I lost my job because of it. We are broke. Xmas was a nightmare yet I could still score everyday. I thought yesterday about injecting. That was it for me.

    The positive thing is I made this decision a couple of days ago to stop. Yesterday I admitted my chaos to my workers and came back to my supports. I contacted my friend I use with and told her no more im not scoring anymore (she's good by the way supportive) today is the first time since last August I haven't used in 24 hours. Within an hour of that time passing I have been given the best news. I got offered a job. Job is with a government agency. Job requires crb check. I have past criminal record not spent. I had to admit it. Just now, they called to say they are giving me clearance even with my record. This is it! If I ever needed a sign this is it.

    Someone knows my past and is willing to give me a chance despite it!!!

    I have to fight, this job could change our lives forever. I like the sound of that.

    I AM scared that to get clean last time I had to go to jail for a year. Because I am not planning on going back there. I have to face this head on, no hiding or having too. For me xxx


  1. soso
    Re: No idea how I got here, feeling a bit lost :(

    well this might sound stupid but its good that its bad, when things arent too bad you can just plod along for years and never have the motivation to quit, people go on about rock bottom but as a ex crack and heroin user i can tell you there is no rock bottom things can always get worse, true rock bottom means dead. its more a case of how shit your going to let things get, as you know they can get pretty shit.
    sounds like youve been given a golden opertunity being offered this new job and given a chance despite your record.
    i dont know how to say it but you need to grab your adiction by the balls, get fuckin serious.
    everything you want can be yours you just got to go get it.
    what meds you got to help?
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