No idea how I got here, feeling a bit lost :( (but found myself again a happy ending) - Part 96

By cbabycee · May 6, 2016 · ·
  1. Re: No idea how I got here, feeling a bit lost :( (but found myself again a happy end

    I'm just trying to get back on my naltraxone - I'm hoping 4 days clean will be enough to do that :/

    Did you get your second implant yet?

    I kept forgetting to take it so unfortunately did feel it :( very much so and very little gear. Shittyness got right back in my head again :(

    Monday I'm aiming for a clean test and to take my naltraxone - I have to go home Sunday xx

Comments

  1. prescriptionperil
    Re: No idea how I got here, feeling a bit lost :( (but found myself again a happy end

    Cee,

    Did a situation arise in your life making you want to self medicate? Try and identify triggers, so you can
    develop drug free coping skills. Also, don't beat yourself up regarding relapsing. As I've heard said, "relapse is part of recovery." Also, don't let this negate the clean time you had. If you ever need to vent, DM me anytime. Also, utilizing the naltrexone regularly is a good plan.
  2. cbabycee
    Re: No idea how I got here, feeling a bit lost :( (but found myself again a happy end

    No pp I have no excuses - I just decided to do it so did - now 24 hours clean I guess xx
  3. JonnyBGoode
    Re: No idea how I got here, feeling a bit lost :( (but found myself again a happy end

    I haven't had my second implant yet no I'm thinking of moving to tablets tbh just to avoid surgery my wife wants to administer them so doubt I'll get the option of not taking them! Just think Cee the reason it feels so bad is because you've done so well, relapses are always worse when you've got significant clean time and there's a world of difference between being clean for months and having a small lapse to going back to active addiction.
  4. cbabycee
    Re: No idea how I got here, feeling a bit lost :( (but found myself again a happy end

    Yeah I'm not beating myself up, just finding it hard dealing with the whys and what not.

    Even to myself X
    I'll get back to where I was quite quickly just hope this doesn't hammer me, I only have a couple of days to recover xx
  5. TheBigBadWolf
    Re: No idea how I got here, feeling a bit lost :( (but found myself again a happy end

    Cee,
    I always found the reasoning about the *why* counterproductive to me. I got me huddled up quite nicely in my addict persona blanket but instead of really finding out anything of worth I was merely turning around the whys and ifs and whats and ended up where I began, just a bit more confused.
    When I simply began accepting that there has happened what has happened ( not implying something 'happened' to me, I'm fully aware I was taking choices) the weight lifted from my chest , I began to breathe deeper and could re-befriend myself, my big nasty addicted head with the world outside ;)

    Yea.
    No actual ideas from me.
    Laugh it away and go on living my life.
    *shrugs*

    BBW
  6. Illdan
    Re: No idea how I got here, feeling a bit lost :( (but found myself again a happy end

    Hey Cee, figure I'd chime in to say that I'm sorry to hear about you're little set back. That's all it is though... a little set back.

    You've been here before and know what you have to do.

    I have nothing but faith in you Cee.
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