Over 20 years of weed - up in smoke - Part 1

By matt666 · Oct 13, 2014 ·
  1. First time posting but have lurked around here for quite a while reading and learning.

    Have been around pretty much every circle shy on 25 years, but weed has been the one constant in my life since the age of 16. There have been various stages in my life when it hasn't been around, or haven't had contacts, but nothing more significant than around 6 months off at any time.

    Over the past 10 or so years it's been a daily cycle of work, get home, roll up and check out. My twin daughters are nearly 7 now and I've reached the point where smoking is making me feel bad (never really did before) so I've made the jump. I'd say I smoked around the 1g per day (not alot in the greater scheme of things) but the constant and unrelenting use has began to tear at my psyche. To make matters worse (or better depending on how you look at them), I do have unlimited access to as much weed as I could ever want, pretty much for free... so there's no real financial benefit to stopping.

    Saturday night just gone was the final of my stash, and there's been nothing since, so I'm running at around 2 days now.

    To be honest, the symptoms of psychological withdrawal started at around 11am Sunday morning - just the knowledge that there was to be no more left me empty and pretty anxious. When I felt this, I gathered up my kit (you know, papers, cigs, filter card, scissors etc) and chucked it all, which made me feel much better.

    Back to reality today with work. Ugh.... Don't feel anywhere near as strong as yesterday and have had the first pangs of craving, which is probably more to do with the nicotine from the tobacco than the weed itself. Would be so easy to just jump in the wheels and pick up a 'nighter pack'.

    I tried quitting around 8 months ago and didn't last more than around 3 weeks - sleep was atrocious, was an 'angry yell machine' as one of my daughters put it, and just couldn't relax.

    I'm being a little more clinical this time around, vitamins to assist generally, melatonin for sleep and steering clear of alcohol...

    It's going to be a big challenge, but I'm ready to make this change. I thought a journal on here would keep me honest, and the whole community seems very supportive and honest, so I jumped in. I'll try to update this journal at least every other day.

    Happy reading.

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