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Oxy bout. Round 13

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  1. Hello everyone,
    IMG_3131.PNG
    Day 34.
    This morning woke up just feeling.... Good, I know hard to believe... And worked up enough energy early to start just kickin butt on chores. And I hate chores lol. Trying to get the house looking good again. Which seems impossible with 2 kids... But I'm doing what I can, and really only after 34 days. I'm actually feeling. Okay/good. Like wow!
    Honestly I'm far from out of the woods. And I trust me I know how scary day 1 is. Shit it was a month ago. But sometimes all it takes is day 1. Just get through the first day. 24 hours of actually being sober. And see if that doesn't push you through the rest.

    Anyways like I said. I'm gonna try and end off with some lame quote that I thought up through this entry. Sorry I don't post everyday to those who read.

    Don't let your past steal your present and spoil your future.

    Koda.

Comments

  1. Kathy1221
    Congratulations:)! You made it through
  2. aemetha
    Yes, congratulations Koda. It's okay if you don't post every day, you're not obligated to do that. Having said that, if it isn't a trigger for you it may be a good habit to post regularly to maintain your vigilance. Keep up the great work!
  3. Rain.don
    Congrats Koda!! Great accomplishment. I'm going through some stuff right now and all I want to reach for is opiates to take away the stress/pain. But I'm not. Child custody bull shit. Ex taking kids on vacation during my visitation days. He hasn't even told me about it and my kids say they are leaving on Monday-Thurs. Tues and Thurs are my days. I don't even know if I tell my lawyer about it if my ex could get in trouble. Ex meaning ex husband. I'm sitting here crying my eyes out about it. Sorry to put my negative shit on your thread. I'm really happy for you. You are still an inspiration to me. Shit like what I typed is a trigger for me. Hell everything's a trigger. Sober reality just sucks. I don't like feeling normal. I always want mind altering feelings. It's like I'll never truly be able to be sober bcuz I hate the sober me. I have anxiety, get stressed easily, make mountains out of mole hills. That's just part of my characteristics. And I hate them about me. I don't know what happy is. I see other people who seem to have it together and then there's me. I could have everything and I still wouldn't be happy. Everything's a chore. There's no fun in life for me sober. I should be thankful. I have a house, kids, great boyfriend, job, car. But nope still not happy. I have a great family. Had a great childhood. Nope still not happy. Got married had kids. Marriage sucked wasn't happy. I got a divorce still not happy. What does it take for me to be thankful and happy??? I'm exhausted. Again Koda I'm sorry for unleashing on your thread.
      Kathy1221 likes this.
  4. aemetha
    @Rain.don I'm sure he'll drop in and do the same with your journal from time to time. Have you ever heard of choice theory and reality therapy? It's not everyones cup of tea, but something it is very good at is identifying things missing from your life. It might be worth you looking at (and coincidentally it's well regarded for addictions too).
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