Well I figured I'd do a little update.
Hmmm, where to start. I think at some point I stop counting the days. I just let things run there course. And because I haven't had complete absent.
I think I managed to go 7 days without anything. Then once again my trigger (mother inlaw) hit me up with pulling out a bottle of about 200 pills in front of me. She asked if I wanted 40mg. Being a turd I said sure!
Anyways, it didn't really effect me much as far as recovery. I continued to go another few days without anything and no widthdrawl from that 40mg.
Now fast forward to last week I binged and went 3 nights straight. None during the day. Only at night. This was up till sat night. Then Sunday nothing, I had a little kratom left over that I took as I felt very depressed.
By end of night Sunday I was starting to get very anxious and small widthdrawl. And I had finished my kratom. So I placed an order on Monday morn for a small amount to help me through this week.
Monday night I took another 50mg of oxycodone. Then Tues I brought my mother in law to her appointment at the cancer hospital. I was up at 6am. And by 10am when I was in the waiting room I started getting very anxious. It was hard to breath, sweating like crazy, feeling dizziness. Take it mind it had been 18 hours since I last had anything.
So by the time I got back to the car I was soaked in sweat! I asked my mother in law to give me 20mg...which she did as her cancer doctor just gave her another fresh script. After about 20mins I started feeling better. And she left me with another 60mg for the night. Being a dip again I took them.
So last night I took the full 60mg. But called my mother in law and told her to stop offering me them. I said I really need to get better and by you offering me pills is not helping me...only hindering my progress!!
She agreed and promised she would not offer anymore and understood I'm trying to get free from all of this. My order of kratom came yesterday...so I plan on using it enough to get me through the next 3 days, then stop again.
Aside from those few slips I was doing pretty good. I started back running again. Felt good being out on the trail again. It was a little of a bitter sweet...I struggled hard, but was proud to be back out there.
I'm determined now more than ever to stay straight. My work called me and offered me a day position. So I'm eager to get my shit together so I can get back to a routine. So I can call today day 1 or day 15...it doesn't really phase me. All I know is I'm moving forward from all of this. I've eliminated my trigger, and shouldn't have any further road blocks.
Anyhow, I best get moving. Have a fun day planned with my daughter and her friend today.