You're right I do and currently I don't. I experimented with the kratom and threw in oxy. Today I tried a functional stim called 3,4, ctmp and I've been throwing oxy and a little kratom and soon some flubromazepam at it.
The problem is I had a little more oxycodone thrown my way. Now that is finally the limit of the resource so the crunch time is near but as I know I stand not on the threshold of the taper and I'm acting like I don't really care. Within a few days or a week the story will have changed significantly. I will not post in this journal in the mean time as it will not be a report of progress but sniff by sniff account of my continuing abuse. I believe the idea of starting a journal was to log my progress and hopefully be scolded or supported if I slipped but I have flouted the rules of that enterprise entirely. The plan remains but the execution is ever so slightly postponed.
I have a friend who lives away who's in a similar boat and he will be stopping at the time I plan to transition to kratom so that will help keep me in check.
Last time I quit tramadol with a friend I didn't hear much from him for a few months only for him to come back to me and say he was back on it. Sneaky chemicals they are. Easily fooled are some of us too.