Thank you, everyone.
I feel like I have given up on doctors. After my terrible experience trying to get clonazepam, I went home and began this phenibut addiction to self medicate. I've been on and off medications since I was 9 years old for bi polar disorder, and I feel tired of it all. Psychiatrists, or regular doctors both. Perhaps when I am in a more even state of mind I could try again.
I am tapering what I have left, snorting 500 mg doses. Just took one this morning, it definitely perks me up and takes away the depression and anxiety. I wish I had dollars so that I could buy a tub, then I know I could safely come down off of this. The desire to abuse phenibut is gone from me, it is an evil thing to me and I cannot wait to be free from it.
It seems the most effective drugs in this world come with a terrible and sometimes irreversible price. I wonder about that, about what it means.