Hi everyone. I'm new to this site so I hope I'm following all the rules ok, but if not please let me know and any constructive advice will be acted upon the next time I post.
I am a 45 year old woman with another half of a similar age and we are both long term heroin users. Our children are all grown up now and left home, they've got full time jobs and their own homes - not such a bad turn out for a couple of junkie parents!
The time has finally come for me to put an end to this 25 year long life of hell which I've privately led whilst maintaining an air of respectability for the sake of family, friends and neighbours.
We have never really mixed with the other users in our town, call us snobs if you want, but I prefer to see it as having pride in ourselves and not wanting to be seen hanging around with the shopliftters/bag snatchers etc.
You may have noticed that I wrote its time for ME to quit, not US.
My partner and I have different key workers at the same local drug recovery service but at the moment we are not even on the same page regarding our feelings towards heroin.
I am personally sick and tired that everyday of my life revolves around that drug. Its affecting my health, my finances, the times of the day when I have to do things, the time I can or cannot sleep, the time I can or cannot eat, it even affects how and when I shit! Get the picture??
I am so ready and motivated to give it up that I've arranged a home detox program, starting with 100mls of methadone per day for the physical withdrawals and 30mg of diazipam a day for the anxiety and to help me sleep. Once stable and drug free for a few months, the meds will be gradually tapered down until off.
Well that is the plan and the other half agrees to me giving it a go and he promises to not use around me, but apart from that he will be little support as he has his own serious mental and physical health problems to cope with.
He has not reached the same depthes of despair that I have and is not ready to give it up for himself just yet.
The lack of support at home, from friends or family is the reason I've joined this forum. I'm hoping to get help and advice from other members as I start out on my journey. Hopefully with all your support and the fact I can be online at 4am when I cant sleep and pour out my feelings will help me get through.
I'm waiting for the letter any day now to tell me when my program starts. Is there anything besides the prescribed meds I need to help me through? I'm not sure what to expect, will I be uncomfortable in any way, bored, tearful, or lethargic etc
I know that going through withdrawals is not the end of the problem and its the addiction side that worries me most. How do I handle and not sucumb to the cravings that I know I will encounter for months to come. How have others coped? All suggestions welcome!
Any advice and support will be gratefully received and I will check back in a few days to see if anyone is interested enough in yet another heroin users detox attempt to reply to this, my very first post.
I'm hoping that someone who is in a similar situation to me takes the time and trouble to respond because I feel we could really help each other via this site
Not that I want to exclude advice from anyone else of course, especially those who have actually made it through and can inspire me into believing that a happy, healthy and drug free future is truely possible.