quitting opiates cold turkey- on day 3 - Part 50

By smith9666 · Dec 17, 2014 · ·
  1. Thanks Bumble,

    I think I was just so afraid to not stay busy because I felt horrible during the day if I wasn't working and at home. I wasnt able to actually just enjoy time relaxing until at least 2 weeks in.

    Now my issues are all mental but doing okay. Thanks for the reply ;)

    smith9666 added 1 Minutes and 35 Seconds later...

    Oh forgot to add that my WD didn't really hit me until the end of day 4. Days 4-9 were the worst. Then it just got better after day 9 really fast as far as the physical WD symptoms go. The first few days were actually okay.

Comments

  1. Jungledog
    Smith,

    Thank you for your support. I was initially really angry with myself for reaching for the oxycodone. I know I reached for it because I was in emotional pain. I also though in all truth was physically hurting that day too. My pain is an absolute bitch. Before this detox, I was not so aware that I reached for the meds for emotional issues too. I think at this point I can tell the difference which makes me happy. I still am not sure that I can be totally trusted if I go back to using them regularly but I can tell you I have access to plenty of them right now and have taken exactly 2 of them in the past 2.5 month months. That is a damn miracle...I used to have more than 2 with breakfast!!!

    I will need to manage my pain and there is simply no other really effective form of pain relief...there just isn't. I have been using many alternative methods and drugs and most days these allow me enough relief to function. But there are those days when I hurt so bad I can't think...which is a very bad thing in my line of work. I think I have disclosed that I am a colleague of my pain doctor. I have gone through many practice days without using medications and my doctor thinks I am nuts. He has basically told me I am being stupid and that if taken as prescribed the opiates do not make me impaired and he is correct. He is also correct when he tells me that I am putting patients at risk when I do NOT taken them as I get distracted and am more likely to make mistakes. This is one of the reasons I left full-time practice. I feel funny taking opiates at work doing what I do but I felt guilty that what he said was probably right...so now I feel funny being a work and not treating my pain. Crazy shit, huh?

    As for my marriage, I do not know what to do. I love the man. I just am sick to death of dealing with his mental health issues. I was ten years into the marriage before I really knew what I was dealing with and by then we had 2 of the 3 kids. One of my daughters also has the same mental health issue as my husband. I feel like if I walk away from this marriage...she will fall apart as well because of it. I guess I find myself between a rock and a hard place in all aspects of my current life....addiction, my own health (pain and AI), my family, my marriage, and my career. It just feels like everything is so very complicated and I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.

    I am very happy for you to have the time to take off and work on healing. You deserve it!!! I mean that shit happened at work. I think you should consider an SSRI. I am surprisingly not a big proponent of pushing drugs. I like to try alternative methods such as diet, exercise, herbs, yoga but in some cases meds just make sense. PTSD often requires medications for effective, long-term reduction in symptoms. It is a complicated disorder that has both psychological and physical components. Now that the opiates are gone your brain is no longer sedated. As such, the flash backs and nightmares will come back or pick up speed. SSRI's can reduce the symptoms. If your blood pressure is not too low, you could ask for clonidine at bedtime. I find it not only helps me sleep but my nightmares are less on it.

    Hope your day went well. Love to you. :)
To make a comment simply sign up and become a member!