A bit of background.
I am your topical addict. I have lied, cheated and stolen in order to feed my addiction. I'v lost two jobs because of my addiction. I'v stolen money from family (with no remorse at the time). I'v lied to everyone around me. Everyone thinks I have been opiate free for about 4 years. Not so, far from it.
About 5 years ago I got hooked on vicodin/norco. At the time I used it not every day but often enough. After about a year I stopped because it was putting my relationships in jeopardy. My at the time girlfriend didn't trust me and my closest friends didn't trust me. I told everyone I stopped completely but that was a lie because a few months later I started again. I would often get my hands on opiates and being the person I am, would gulp em down without a second thought.
About 2.5 years ago it became a daily habit. Soon multiple times daily. Since my tolerance grew I started taking oxycodone. First it was 10 to 15 mg at a time, then 20-30 mg at a time a few times a day. It almost seemed like my tolerance is growing exponentially. At the end of it all I was using about 180-210 mg of oxycodone per day. I stole money from everyone who had money laying around. I looked into the eyes of my wife and lied to her with such ease. Always justifying my next dose. I grew more and more tired. A lot of times took some norco just not to feel sick. The prospect of a withdrawal scared me shitless.
What made quitting harder is the fact that I first of all cannot just take time off work. Second was that we got married and then found out my wife is having triplets so I had to be mentally and physically there for her. The addiction continued after the kids were born and again, the option not to help with three of them was not there.
Well that's what makes me a typical addict I guess, I'll find any excuse to keep using.
On June 23rd I took my last dose of oxycodone and on the 24th went to see a suboxone doctor. I certainly did a lot of reading about suboxone before making the decision to give it a try. Part of me was scared. My wife and my friends have no idea of what I'v been doing these past few years and don't know about the suboxone.
I don't want to sound like a suboxone ad but if it wasn't for subs if probably still be using.
In the beginning I was given a prescription for 2 x 8 mg Subutex per day. As I soon found out I didn't need nearly as much as I was prescribed. I tried 8 mg first and that seemed to take away all the withdrawal symptoms, cravings and even give me a buzz. My appointment a week later I was switched to Suboxone sublingual strips. So I decided to try 4 mg per day and I think that was my magic number because I stayed on that for a couple months (my original plan was to just take some for a week or two).
So now it's mid-October and over the past month I'v been tapering my suboxone dose slowly. I got down to 1 mg per day without much of a struggle. From Oct 1st to the 10th I took 1 mg (split .5 in the am and .5 in the pm). I dropped to .5 mg per day on October 11th and that's where I am now.
My drop from 1 mg to .5 mg per day was and is accompanied by some unpleasant although tollerable symptoms. I did get restless leg syndrome which would come and go. I felt some nausea here and there although not sure if the drop caused that.
Medications I'v been using to help out:
Ativan (which I'v been on for years but never abused)
I haven't had the need for loperamide or kratom yet (and hopefully won't).
When I started taking suboxone I also started eating better, drinking lots of protein shakes, taking multivitamins and most importantly exercising (cannot stress what an amazing energy, confidence and mood booster regular exercise has been).
I'v set my next drop to be on the 20th. I'll be down to .25 mg per day. The plan right now is to jump on the 27th and ride it out. Will try to stick to that. Really ready to stop.
DF and it's members have been an unbelievable resource of motivation, inspiration and information. I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart.
I'll try to check in regularly. Free time is tough to come by with a job and one year old triplets.