Quitting oxycodone using suboxone taper. - Part 33

By Hydroxyout · Nov 8, 2014 · ·
  1. Morning JD and everyone else.

    Well I woke up feeling a lot better than last night. Last night was just a downer. Anyhow. Feeling pretty good. About to take the boys for the morning walk. It's sunny but chilly. Loving the weather and loving myself.

    Will update a bit later.

    P.s. I got box of subs that I filled on the 6th of October that is still unopened sitting in my car. Not sure what I should do with it. It's just 30 x 2 mg strips. I never have the urge to touch them so there's really no danger there.

Comments

  1. Jungledog
    Hydroxyout,

    I won't tell you what to do with your subs but I will tell you I flushed all 180 pills of hydrocodone yesterday. They were calling to me. Fucking things make me nauseated as shit but I found myself thinking "well just a few with zofran" will stop your pain. Not sure how I am going to handle this pain long term but I need to try to be really off opiates to see what it is, ya know? Anyhow, problem solved. What do you need them for? Ask yourself.

    Hugs and love as always,
    JD
  2. Hydroxyout
    I really don't need them but I also never had a single sub craving since getting off of it. I feel bad throwing them away because they cost me a lot (because I didn't want to go through insurance). Don't know. I'll think about what to do with them.
  3. Jungledog
    Well the unfortunate thing is you can't give them to anyone...not unless you want to risk a felony! Maybe just tuck away for 30 more days then flush? How are you feeling? Today started well but I am feeling the cut of that 1/4 tsp. So fucked up. Ignoring it. Just took my second walk on beach. Getting colder but weather still gorgeous. Felt nice to feel the breeze, smell the salt air and hear the waves. Not sure I noticed these things as much on oxy but then when I was on oxy my legs did not ache when I walked the beach!

    JD
  4. lostlygirl
    hi hydroxycut,

    I just read through your thread and your journey has been awesome! Congratulations on getting clean and staying clean. That is a tough road to walk and you are doing it with strength and grace. Both you and Jungledog have been an inspiration to me to actually have the courage to start my own journey.

    Also, congratulations on having triplets. What an amazing gift to give them for their first birthday. I have 6 kids, 5 who are still living at home. My oldest is 19 and my youngest is 10. Time goes so fast, and before you know it your boys will be starting school. You will get to see them growing up without the haze of drugs. You will get to be fully present through all the beauty and heartache that is parenthood. That is one of my biggest regrets, that for 15 yrs my kids didn't have a mother that was fully present.

    May I make a suggestion as to what you could do with the leftover subsoxone? Wait for a day that holds some kind of special significance for you. Maybe on the first anniversary of being clean, or sooner if you wish. Go someplace scenic by yourself, to a river, or mountain and take out each strip and destroy it somehow by either throwing it to the wind, or burying it, or watching it float down the river. It doesn't matter what you do, just something that has meaning for you. With each strip think of something that the drugs stole from you. As you release each strip also release with it the shame and guilt that comes with that particular memory. In a sense make the letting go of the box be a letting go of the pain that you have carried with you from drugs.

    Anyway, it was just a passing thought. :) And yes, fentanyl's a bitch. Its going to be a long, sleepless night.....It's a good thing there's a bunch of journals on here.
  5. Jungledog
    Hydroxyout,

    Good morning sir! How's it going? How's the hag? I am always thinking of you and wishing you the best detox thoughts. :) I like Lostlygirl's suggestion on the subs. I just flushed my shit down the toilet and flipped it off while I watched it go...LOL I probably should have tossed it in the ocean one by one.

    Hope you are well.

    Hugs,
    JD
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