LG, first of all thank you! I always feel amazing when someone says that my journal helped them. It almost makes me feel euphoric. I'm glad my story gives people hope and courage to proceed.
I started suboxone on June 24th of this year. I was put on a dose that was way too high. The doctor prescribed 16 mg per day. My first dose I only took 8 mg and that dose held me for a good 7 days. I thought I wasn't going to take anymore but being an addict I started taking it daily. The daily dose I took was 4 Mgs. I was on that dose for 3 months and then started the taper. Getting down to 1 mg was fairly easy. After that I started feeling withdrawal symptoms. Stabilized myself at .5 mg for about a week and a half and then got impatient. Did .25 mg for three days and then .125 for two days. October 25th was my first sober day.
I'm fighting cravings any way I can. When I get one I do push ups or squats or distract myself any other way. As you know during my taper I did slip a few times so didn't do a very good job there. Now they are getting better but some days are still a bit tough. I made sure that ALL of my connections are deleted from my phone and email (and trust me I had many). Basically exercise has been the biggest help in getting my mood and self image up.
I know it's hard to picture all this but it's doable.