So today I managed to only take .25 mg around 5:30 pm. Figured if I take it later in the day it'll hold me over and I won't need another dose. So far so good. Not feeling 100 percent but nothing that can't be dealt with.
I do feel like a lot of the minor symptoms I feel are in my head only. Maybe. Maybe not. I just have to learn to beat hypersensitivity by redirecting my mind. Tough but not impossible.
That's all for today. I haven't really been able to find anyone who has taken suboxone for the same amount of time as I have and tapered. I would really love to hear from that person. I'v read many stories of people quitting but it's usually after 6+ months and tapering from a high dose like 16 mg per day.
Love you all. Stay real.
Hydroxyout added 940 Minutes and 49 Seconds later...
So I'm at lunch now it's day two of taking .25 mg / day. Yesterday I took the .25 as one dose and I took it at 5:30 pm. Did fine.
Today is a different story. I have rls kicking in. Just want to cut off my left leg. I figured maybe today I'll try splitting the .25 into two doses of .125 each. I took .125 about 15 min ago. Waiting to see how the rls gets affected, if at all. Mood is good but the rls is just making me not want to do anything.
Thanks for reading.
Hydroxyout added 532 Minutes and 18 Seconds later...
Well it's evening. Boys are asleep. I have only taken .125 today. Right now I just feel alone. I was sitting down in the kitchen with my wife and all I could think about was how I just wanted to come clean about everything. Tell her how alone I'm feeling now. But I didn't. The fight continues. About 30 minutes ago I took .1 mg of Clonidine. Hoping it might help my rls.
Aside from the rls, just feel week and agitated. Ativan doesn't really help and I never take it in higher doses than I'm supposed to.
Will try to stick to .125 tomorrow as well. We'll see how it goes. It's supposed to be an insanely busy day at work.
To anyone who has ever taken clonidine and benzos as part of quitting opiates, were you able to take clonidine during the day just fine or did it make you sleepy and tired?
Hydroxyout added 1308 Minutes and 11 Seconds later...
Opiate free life is frightening at times.
Yesterday only took .125 mg of suboxone. Today woke up at 6 am as always to feed the boys. I didn't feel like myself. Sweaty. Weak. Took a lot of strength to get out of bed, get the formula, change all three and feed them. On the way to work experienced lots of chills, slightly blurry vision, confusion. Thoughts of pills kept coming. Took my morning Ativan and that took some of the symptoms away but certainly not all.
Busy day at work. Kept going between feeling normal and energized to weak and sweaty with chills. On the way home took .5 mg of Ativan but no suboxone yet today. It's 7 pm. I'm debating taking .125 mg of suboxone at bedtime.
When I started my suboxone I erased all the hookups from my phone. All except for one. I kept that one...maybe as a safety blanket? I realized today how close I got to just texting him and getting a handful of pills so instead I just deleted his contact info from my phone. Last one...gone. It's better this way.
About to bathe my boys and that always cheers me up since I work all day.
Cheers and keep fighting.