Quitting oxycodone using suboxone taper. - Part 44

By Hydroxyout · Dec 17, 2014 · ·
  1. Hi everyone! Well I'm glad to report that I'm still clean and starting to patch things up with my wife. It's been a rough week to say the least. When she stopped talking to me and said things like "I feel like we will never have the life I envisioned for us" i just felt the worst piercing deep sadness. Something I haven't felt before to this extent. I hurt a lot inside because of the pain and betrayal she must feel. I love her more than anyone and she's my best friend. I realize that she has every right to feel the way she does. It will take time and work but I believe this too shall pass.

    I'll write more a bit later. Haven't had much time or mood to write. Thank you all for checking in. When I read all the responses I instantly felt better.

    @thebear

    Hey bud. I'm glad you have found the strength within to quit. I'm humbled that my journal helped. Feel free to message me anytime. I'm gonna try to check in more often.

Comments

  1. Jungledog
    Hydroxy,

    I answered you some on my thread. Marriage is complicated and wonderful. It comes in seasons and you will learn to ride the ups and downs, the highs and lows. My husband and I have been together 27 years. We have had good times and God have we had some bad ones...this week was a bad one. Somehow we have learned to value what we have, forgive the hurts, and be a team. I find it hard to picture my life without him...even though I get so VERY pissed that he won't treat his issues...but I know part of the problem is those with mental illness can't see what "normal" (if there is such a fucking thing) people see. It's difficult to be angry with him over things he can't totally control. Anyhow...back to your relationship, not mine.

    Give your wife time. Earn her trust by staying your sober path. Let her in. Make sure you figure out what your underlying reason for use was...and fix it!!!

    I missed you a lot and I am glad you checked in. It made my night.
  2. Mr Bumble
    Brother i read your first post and I can tell you that your not alone, before I got my business up and running I was stealing left right and center. One of my worst scum bag moments was when my girl was ina 24 hour labor with our girl and I snuck off to the car for a hit. she thought I was clean and the first time I held my baby in my arms I was high. But your doing it bro annd doing the right thing.

    I say this all the time but its' true. most people will never understand what we go through as addicts,
    But those of us who keep up the fight to get clean are life warriors. keep your eye on the prize, the prize is life.
  3. thebear
    If your wife could only read your journal and see the progress and how hard you've tried and how far you come. I know she can't but she is very lucky. A strong husband.
To make a comment simply sign up and become a member!