It is funny how alike we think. I actually realize I am currently in a position of power with this physician. I am very good at what I do and many of the other physicians have been quite blatant at trying to recruit me. Doctors are generally an arrogant bunch snd they can viciously defend their turf. Here is my issue. Does he want me because he values me? Truly values me? Or does he want me just because I have helped make him wealthy? Many of the patients come to see me. If I leave, so will some of these patients. I am honestly not sure I want to stay. I think our relationship is probably not healthy and I am fairly certain that is not going to change. Putting him off until May gives him time to decide he needs to change and/or it gives me time to find a job that is a better fit. Time to honor me.
And yes being tired sucks, really sucks. I am too tired to sleep. Just gave up and took kratom. Made it almost 9 hours. Sitting on the sofa watching HGTV and this is probably where I remain for awhile. Really should be doing xmas decorations but not going to happen. Next weekend!
Jungledog added 19 Minutes and 16 Seconds later...
I was reflecting a bit more. I am already very well paid so asking for more money probably isn't fair but I guess I could ask for more. The real issue is the long hours, weekends and holidays. I have been doing these hours for 30 years. Started out in health care as a teen and just worked my way up the ladder.
So when I think about what I want from a practice job...I want maybe 4-8 hours per week preferably only in an outpatient setting. Yes I can handle running codes and making life decisions for critically ill people but I am tired of this role. It sucks me dry. I want to see if all I need is a break or if I need to change roles.
He sees me as his little money maker and he trusts me so I reduce his stress. I do not feel that he values me as a person. Although today I was bonestly surprised when he said "ok, I will wait for you. Take your time. I will pay to keep your privileges at both facilities. I do not want you to leave." Lots to think about!!