Quitting Oxycodone with Loperamide- My story begins... - Part 132

By Jungledog · Dec 6, 2014 · ·
  1. Smith,

    Yes, it would make me accountable. It also makes me feel like I am two years old.

    Roaddog,

    I have been managing this pain for 12 years. I have not used opiates the whole time. I did in the beginning and then I tried to manage it with acupuncture (which I still do), herbs, heat, ice, etc. Fuck I have even tried hypnosis. Eventually I returned to the opiates. After literally years of use, I began abusing them when my marriage tanked. I have not decided to do anything yet. But it is tough for those who don't deal with high levels of daily pain to understand what this is like. My husband's point that I take it out on those around me has left me feeling like a failure on multiple levels.

    Going to go spend time with my family. I will check on you all tomorrow. Thanks for the feedback. It is appreciated.

    Jungledog added 2 Minutes and 51 Seconds later...

    Oh and despite what I consider to be bad pain, I stuck to my taper....even though I have an entire bottle of oxycodone available. This makes me both proud and irritated. Night all.

Comments

  1. Werecat
    I've lost an entire post I wrote to you *glares at computer*.

    I was writing that I think you've come a long way. I think the discussion with your husband is a great idea. Take one once in a while when you come off kratom, ask him to hand one to you if no other options work. Trust yourself, accept that you will be in pain. You don't want to lose a good career because of this (I mean there's that option of developing another career but you sound good at what you do, enjoy it, and this world needs good healthcare staff).

    You've done so well rebuilding your life.

    I've already admitted to myself that I'm probably going to be in pain my whole life. This means taking a pill now and then (instead of relying on them).

    I believe you can do it because you've done more than you think and you've a lot to lose. Look how you've controlled this taper. Some people do manage to control their drug use in the end, I've read about a bit to find them. Like if you find the urge to take more then sit and think on it (or do mindfulness meditation?), acknowledge but don't act on your urge, don't beat yourself up and maybe vent it to your husband.

    However that's just what I think. Ultimately it's your choice, you know yourself best. If you feel you can't control then alternatives (whatever they may be) are the best.

    Whatever you choose you'll always get good support from your family and the online community.

    Werecat added 2 Minutes and 42 Seconds later...

    By the way I use Tiger Balm Red now and then. Can be really lovely (when it's not too cold).

    Werecat added 18 Minutes and 21 Seconds later...

    Do a lot of people on opiates stop having dreams?

    I dream so much it's ridiculous, I always have, whether on painkillers or not. :s
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